Various - Fabric 47: Jay Haze

Fabric: 2009

*cover art brought to you by Fabric’s “Abstracted Photos On Pastel” period*

And thus we jump a year and a half forward for our next offering of bargain bin Fabric mixes, to the likes of… Jay Haze? Huh, a surprise there, but then he’s long had a ‘love it or leave it’ style. Guess whoever had this copy had no love for it; ironic, considering his roots lay in Philadelphia, the City Of Brotherly Love (mind, I think Philly's slogan's meant to be ironic, if their sports fanbase is anything to go by).

Anyhow, Mr. Haze himself had quite an eclectic career during the ‘00s, despite at times coming across as yet another minimal deep-tech chap from Berlin. It didn’t hurt that a number of his releases and aliases hinted at a love for sleazy ghetto tech, perpetuating a rep as the bad boy of that scene. Don’t let a rough exterior fool you though, as he’s done plenty of charity work in his time as well. In fact, all the money earned for his Fabric contribution went towards relief aid to the Congo. Which… makes me getting this for pennies kind of dickish, now that I think about it.

This mix is also rather eclectic, though still carrying the tropes of underground house music of the time. Oh yes, we're in the thick of the hisssssss era, and it's just as pointless and annoying today as it was then; fortunately, ol' Jay don't dwell on too many tracks with it. There's also more of a Chicago (Philly?) groove to a number of these cuts, the dry sterility of Berlin-based tech-house having been flushed away by classic revivalism that began the year prior. And Haze himself provides a nice example of that “don't call it prog or trance” neo-trance sound that bubbled about for awhile, on Burning under his Fuckpony guise. Round things out with assorted dabblings of jazz, Afro-house, and whatnot, and you have yourself one of the most varied tracklists featured on a Fabric throughout the series' history. Shame Jay ain't much of a DJ.

To be fair, this was his second ever commercial mix (the first a label showcase for his Tuning Spork print), and boy does it show. There’s no real structure to this set, tunes and genres coming and going as Haze sees fit, and thus no rise or drop in energy as the CD plays through. The way these tunes are arranged, it’d almost work better as a mixtape, but as there’s a dancefloor flow between tracks, I don’t get that mixtape vibe from it like I do with some DJ-Kicks offerings. Number 47 exists in a weird zone between the two: interesting for the track selection, but a struggle to get hooked into it for the duration.

Was This Worth The Pennies Paid For It?
Hard to say at this point. It may be one of those ‘needs repeated listens’ sets. Check back in half a decade, when I might do a 2018 Update.

Various - Fabric 38: M.A.N.D.Y.

Fabric: 2008

*cover art brought to you by Fabric’s “Weird Masks With White Backdrop” period*

If you were a fan of tech-house in the mid-‘00s, it was your duty to consume all that Get Physical Music put out. No, there was no debating the issue. The label that M.A.N.D.Y. and Booka Shade built was your God, and that was that. Nice of them to release occasional good music too, but as time wore on, the bouncy, minimal deep-tech aesthetic they popularized grew watered down as pretenders and imitators flooded the market. It was up to Get Physical’s heroes to take charge, planting their flag as the preeminent tastemakers for all things rooftop shufflelicious. Except they didn’t. Booka Shade got tired of the same ol’ shtick and started exploring synth-pop, of all things. Meanwhile, M.A.N.D.Y. did… um… er… well… hmm.

Well, maybe they felt taking a step back from the limelight would allow their label’s new talent to enjoy the spotlight (like Samim!). It didn’t stop the demand for their DJing talents though, and with minimal deep-tech the trendiest shit throughout 2007, it made sense that Fabric tapped one of the original promoters of the sound for a mix. Trouble was, as the following year took form, folks were itching for something fresher, and M.A.N.D.Y. just wasn’t providing it anymore.

I know a single mix CD is hardly enough to judge a whole scene on, but their contribution to Fabric sure does capture what it was like listening to this stuff in 2008. It has a promising start – oh how many mix CDs have a promising start – with a decent groove established, quick mixes between tracks so nothing lulls for long, and enough hooky variety to keep you engaged. Somewhere in the middle though (well, for me, Audion's remix of Dubfire's I Feel Speed), all momentum is lost, M.A.N.D.Y. taking their set into plodding k-hole monotony. There isn't even any of the atmospheric murk that at least occasionally makes this stuff interesting on a head level. Nope, just dry, minimal tech-house, sapping away whatever energy the set had as each track goes by. Not even a last gasp of interesting tunes at the end is enough to rescue this mix.

Why were DJs making sets like these? Were they trying to be the anti-trance brigade? Making sure when your ketamine bumps started kicking in, you wouldn't worry about tripping over your feet with rhythmic intensity? God, does it ever suck if you're not interested in diving down the k-hole. M.A.N.D.Y.'s Fabric mix is like having sex when you're incredibly drunk. The initial thrill and excitement eventually wears away, but you keep muddling along in the hopes of hitting a climax eventually – and when it does, it's but a pathetic dribble of release that hardly makes it worth the effort in the first place.

Was This Worth The Pennies Paid For It?
Not even. Tons of DJ mixes like this are out there for free, and you don’t see many recommendations for those.

Various - Fabric 36: Ricardo Villalobos

Fabric: 2007

*cover art brought to you by Fabric’s ‘We Cans 4AD Too’ period*

As far as very important people in the world of techno go, Ricardo Villalobos wasn’t just very important, he was the most important for a while. Still, how important could he have been if his contribution to the Fabric series has been relegated to the bargain bin? Eh? Eh? Ah, hahaha! Hahahah!

HAHAHAHAHAH!

That’s it then. My whole Fabric Project (on a budget) has been leading to that one moment. There’s nowhere else to go but down. Might as well end it here. What, there’s still five more to do after this? *sigh*

Seriously though, Villalalobobos was a big freakin’ deal in the mid-‘00s, such that when it came time for him to offer his DJ skills for Fabric, he made the bold (audacious?) move to feature his music only (with the odd collaboration and remix thrown in). Some saw it as the height of hubris to turn the respected series into a personal showcase, but it’s not like DJs hadn’t flooded prior editions with their own material before - number 27 had half-a-dozen Audion tracks alone. And if ol’ Ricardo hadn’t done it, someone probably would eventually (Frankie Bones?). May as well get it over with.

And truthfully, Richie Vile Wolf has such a distinctive sound that not only can he make it work, but it’s difficult to imagine a mix CD without heavy contributions from himself. Though regarded as an excellent jock live (when relatively sober), he’d only made a couple In The Mix sets for Cocoon in the years prior. By and large, he has the hallmarks of a DJ feeling constrained by the lack of runtime and crowd intimacy that comes with making mix CDs. Small wonder this was his last such commercial disc, and even calling it a proper DJ set’s a stretch.

The music on number 36 features many of the sounds most came to associate with ol’ Ricardo. There’s your minimalistic tech-house, with more than enough groove to keep you engaged even when there doesn’t seem to be much going on. Sure enough, quirky, worldly tangents crop up, including an extended detour with Andruic & Japan, a twelve minute stretch of dialog and taiko drums to a beat. The requisite “I’m from Latin America” track comes near the end, a fun capper to the set. Everything sounds spacious, with percussion and effects given plenty of breathing room should you have suitable playback gear that allows it (Ricky Villainous Bus is quite the audiophile). Throughout it all, a slow, steady rise in pace (though not BPM) and mood is maintained, always a plus for any kind of set.

Was This Worth The Pennies Paid For It?
It’s a very important Fabric by a most important person in the world of techno. It should be enshrined in the Techno Hall Of Fame (some old warehouse in Detroit) for all to see, not purchased for piddly amounts of Canadian currency.

Various - FabricLive 32: Tayo

Fabric: 2007

*cover art brought to you by FabricLive’s ‘ARTIST IN BIG FUCKING LETTERS’ period*

First off, what exactly is the difference between Fabric and FabricLive? Most point to a difference of genre highlighted between the two, the main series sticking to techno, house and the like, while the other one features music of the broken-beat variety. That might have been true from the outset, but as the series has evolved, so too has its selection of DJs, genre specification be damned. Are FabricLive mixes actually mixed live at the club itself or in the studio? Kudos for doing so if that's true, but it seems like a funny gimmick for CDs this day in age.

Oh well. With Tayo's contribution to FabricLive, the vinyl crackle throughout his mix is a clear indication we're dealing with a proper live set. Damn but would I love to hear this one out. I'd never heard of Mr. Popoola before this, a crying shame if number 32 is anything to go by. The Almighty Discogs informs me his turn-of-the-century career was defined by breaks of the nu-skool sort, yet judging by the tracklists of his Y4K series, little of it would have stood out from the pack; or maybe so. There's a definite reggae dub and dancehall influence in Tayo's sound, which is spliff-bliss nectar to my ears no matter what incarnation it comes in. If his other sets offer this bent, I should check them out.

He’s adept at mixing things up throughout a set too. For sure there’s your nu-skool, with familiar names like Bassbin Twins, Aquasky, and Tipper cropping up. This being a 2007 mix though, the influence of grimey UK garage is also felt; and yes, there’s dubstep here, but it’s good dubstep. This was when the sound was blowing up with crazy amounts of potential and diversity, and what Tayo brings to 32 would have made even the most ardent doubter weak in the knees. Example? How about the transition between More Than Money from Sarantis and Warrior Queen into Skream’s Lightning? Those sorts of moments, mang, gave dubstep all the thrills and excitement missing from so much other electronic music of the time.

Of course, it helps to have a competent DJ creating such moments, and Tayo’s set is superb for his chosen sound. Momentum is continuously maintained, with expertly placed lulls for your breathers before coming back fiercer than before. There’s enough genre diversity to keep the music fresh and varied throughout, and plenty of memorable anthems you’ll be anxious to hear play out again.

Was This Worth The Pennies Paid For It?
Fuck yeah, it was! Admittedly I’m biased towards reggae dub, but Tayo’s set is so much fun, only a right dullard couldn’t vibe to this. I’m actually dismayed someone offloaded this CD for such a pittance. Is it because the cardboard is lightly frayed? Neverland skips when played straight from the disc (no problems came up with the rip)? Whatever, their loss.

Various - Fabric 27: Matthew Dear As Audion

Fabric: 2006

*cover art brought to you by Fabric's 'Deconstruction Of Photography Destruction' period*

In the mid-'00s, if you were given a birth name of Matthew, you stood a good chance of being a very important person in the world of techno. Thinking about it, I can recall only three such folk of significant prominence, but it sure seemed like an invasion of Matthews for a while there; kind of similar to all those Jameses taking over prog-glitch.

Of the Triple-Matts, Dear's career seems to have languished in the middle of the pack of prosperity. He's still a recognized name, but interest in his style of music doesn't garner as much buzz as it once did. Listening to his Fabric mix, I'm still baffled how it generated buzz in the first place. Yeah, yeah, minimal was the fucking trendiest shit in the world back in 2006, but good lord does it offer some of the most utterly wank moments electronic music has ever produced (and this is coming from a guy who's digested copious amounts of dark psy).

That’s jumping ahead though. For Mr. Dear’s contribution to the Fabric series, he chose his Audion guise, where he often indulged in the most minimalicious of minimal’s aesthetic. Though it wasn’t the first time Fabric tapped a producer of such ilk, number 27 came out around the time the sound was surging out of backroom obscurity, so I guess some kudos to the label for capturing the trend on the rise (unlike nearly everyone else the following year). As such, there’s some good stuff early in this mix, hinting at the fun potential of minimal tech-haus. Dubby, dark, and just enough groove to keep your attention whether on a dancefloor or with headphones.

Then he ruins things about a third of the way through, going on a tedious tour highlighting all that makes minimal-tech a chore. It doesn’t seem like at first, as Ruede Hagelstein’s Keep Us Away choice of quirk-sound reminds me of charming, cheesy ‘50s sci-fi UFOs. After that though... g’uh. Plinky-plink in Sweet ‘n Candy’s Tacky Wakeup, retarded vocals in Claude vonStroke’s Deep Throat, swishing water in Ali Khan’s Waterbomb, and aimless nonsense in Argy’s A Rhino In A Glass Shop. There’s no atmosphere or rhythmic foundation in these tracks; just sound-effect showcases, and not very interesting ones either.

Even Mr. Dear seems aware of the go-nowhere tangent he’s taken, as he abruptly shifts gears on Robert Babicz’s Battlestar, taking things into sludge tech-house territory. And I quite like this part, what with a return to groove, mood, and even an actual melody in Âme’s Rej (not yet overplayed when this was released). With an easy lead-out featuring other prominent names like Troxler, Villalobos, and Luciano, Fabric 27 ends well enough.

Was This Worth The Pennies Paid For It?
I suppose. Two-thirds of the mix sound fine by my ears, and Dear’s mixing is clinically clean, as most minimal mixes typically are. Doubt I’ll reach for this again anytime soon though.

Yes - Fragile

Atlantic/Rhino Records:1971/2003

Generally considered the best Yes album, but only if you’ve a passing fancy for the ‘70s prog rock style. The super-long, technical mastery of later albums is only hinted at here, with more radio-friendly melodies spaced out between sonic doodles each member got to indulge themselves with. There are still long songs, but nothing eating up one side of an LP record - half of one, yes, definitely.

This was also their most commercially successful album under the ‘classic’ ‘70s lineup, and with a lead song like Roundabout, it’s easy to hear why. The hook is introduced almost immediately, and even though the actual melody only gets repeated a few times thereafter, you can’t wait for Jon Anderson to sing “I’ll be the round about;” again. Perfect tune for your rock radio stations, and even better for the DJs playing it in need of a bathroom break, as the whole thing lasts eight-plus minutes. At the other end of the album is Heart Of The Sunrise, a true technical masterpiece of every band member jamming, soloing, blah blah blah. Hey, I love this tune, but I’ve been spoiled by live renditions of it, and the album version sounds stiff and tinny compared to them. That’s my bias, but don’t let it be yours! (unless you prefer Heart Of The Sunrise live as well - if so, *fist bump*)

If it seems like I’m glossing over what everyone but fans of ‘80s Yes considers their best, it’s because there ain’t a damned thing I can say about it that hasn’t been said forever. All I can offer of insight are the few little things that readers of a (mostly) electronic music blog might be interested in, and ridiculously talented musicianship probably doesn’t register too high on such a list. I should know, I used to be like that!

Anyhow, Fragile was the album Rick Wakeman made his debut with the group, and everywhere you can hear the classically trained keyboard virtuoso’s influence. A solo ditty with Cans And Brahms seems inspired by that Carlos character’s work, great organ sounds in Heart Of The Sunrise, and lovely piano diddling on South Side Of The Sky. That kid, he can play him some keyboards. Even Jack Black gives him a nod of approval in School Of Rock, and that guy’s only known for stupid-fun cock rock! (also of note: Roger Dean’s Yes artwork debuts here as well, who’s psychedelic sci-fantasy style would become as synonymous with the band as anything music related would)

In a nutshell, Fragile is a fine introduction to the group and what they’re capable of on both ends of the music spectrum. If you want more musical mastery, dig deeper into their other ‘70s output; catchy hooks, their ‘80s. If you want just a little more convincing on Fragile, check out perma-member Chris Squire’s solo piece The Fish. For a bass guitar track, sweet Jesus does it ever have some awesome, trippy sounds in it!

Photek Productions - Form & Function Vol. 2 (Original TC Review)

Sanctuary Records: 2007

(2013 Update:
It'd be another half-decade before Rupert Parkes finally released another proper Photek album, KU:PALM, which received... mixed reactions. Guess time will only tell whether folks warm up to it like they did with Solaris or not. As for this collection of odds'n'sods, I can't believe I neglected to mention the Pendulum influences on several of these tracks ...or maybe not. I was kind of in denial about the whole 'rock-and-bass' movement, firmly planting my flag with the liquid funk sound for much of that year.

Oh, and celebrations, as this is the last of my old TranceCritic reviews I'll be uploading for a while. Cripes but are there ever a lot of 'em in the 'F's.)


IN BRIEF: Back in business.

So Rupert Parkes is back with another Photek album, eh? And apparently he’s producing drum’n’bass again too. Hhmph. Does he really think the jungle scene will so willingly take him back after he tried to sell out with house music? Like all is forgiven? Hell, he’s even enlisted the aid of Robert Owens here, always a sure sign of trying to appeal to the liquid funk crowd. You’d think Parkes had discovered the guy or something. Why, he even... he even...ah, heh.... *snicker*...

Okay, I can’t write that with a straight face any longer. It’s just silly to think the jungle scene would have grown that jaded over the years, although there may be a few out there. For the most part though, the return of Photek has been welcomed by the dee’bee faithful. They’ve sat patiently as Parkes dabbled in house beats, Nine Inch Nails remixes and soundtrack work, hoping he would one day return to the dark, techy drumfunk of yore. And now, after a few years of side-projects spurring interest again, the man from Ipswich has finally delivered a full-length release some seven years after the last.

Only this isn’t quite a pure Photek album. Much like the previous Form & Function, FFII is rather a collection of past and present tunes, including remixes done by other producers; rare white vinyl releases like One Nation sit alongside current singles like Love & War, while the likes of TeeBee and Tech Itch lend their hand to proceedings as well. Such a release might have some thinking ‘stopgap’, but Parkes has definitely been a busy boy recently, and his offerings on here are anything but rushed fillers.

In fact, you’d almost think this was a proper album from the opening three tracks, although slightly more in a commercial vein. Industry Of Noise finds those rock collaborations still on Parkes’ mind, while Love & War is as smooth a slice of sultry d’n’b as anything from the genre’s 90s heyday. And yes, Robert Owens does make his obligatory cameo here on Things, but considering Photek pretty much did introduce the house legend to junglists everywhere, another collaboration is only right. Besides, the tune’s mint!

From here, FFII lays out banging track after banging track, and not once falters (well, one stumble, but I’ll get to that in a bit). Parkes unearths long-lost gems like One Nation and Saturated Hip Hop, but new offerings such as Deadly Technology and The Beginning easily hold their own too; drum patterns are gripping, with basslines rumbling with just as much authority as ever. And if you were ever a fan of the more paranoid aspects of Photek productions, Full Spectrum Dominance’s talk of cyber espionage will certainly grab your attention, should the intense beats in this track not pummel you into submission beforehand.

For the most part, the remixers hold their own too, with only DJ Die and Clipse being the weak link here by turning in a rather cornball liquid funk outing on Thunder. Everyone else is in top form though; heck, TeeBee’s go on the rare-ish Ni Ten Ishi Ryu is just as good as anything Parkes did when the track was first released a decade ago.

There is a quibble to be had with FFII though, but it has to do more with Parkes as a producer than the actual music on hand. For as solid of a collection of jungle as this is, one can’t help but feel that Photek isn’t quite as far in the lead of the pack as he once was. Whether doing his own thing in the mid-90s or branching out into other genres at the turn of the century, you always had the sense that Parkes was operating on a totally different level than your standard d’n’b maestro. Here, it sounds more like he’s following the trends rather than spearheading them.

Still, even if he is more of a follower than a leader now, his wily veteran sense of the scene will undoubtedly keep him in the minds of junglists should he be here to stay this time. And even if the next proper Photek album finds Parkes trying his hand at, say, psychedelic minimal electro-prog, I’m sure fans will be far more willing to forgive him for it this time should he continue to produce d’n’b as solid as this on the side.

John '00' Fleming - For Your Ears Only

React: 2000

This John Fleming guy, he's done well for himself. Never mind he kicked a bout of lung cancer in the crotch, but he rekindled his music career afterward, taking it to heights he hadn't seen prior. He also snagged a long-term deal with the Euphoria series, staking a claim in the overcrowded trance DJ mix market by being one of the few who'd mix in psy along with the regular stuff. Before then though, Mr. '00' released a couple relatively unknown mixes for various labels, this For Your Ears Only on React perhaps the most prominent of the bunch.

The double-CD looks very much a product of its time, with a cover aping the Designer's Republic aesthetic that was quite popular with EDM releases in the year 2000. And the first disc? Progressive trance for the most part, though very few classics, at least that I'm familiar with. In fact, most of the names on CD1 are new to my eyes, with only the last clutch of producers - Airwave, Paul van Dyk, and BT - being obvious names for a mix such as this. Heck, even their tracks aren't terribly obvious. I can't recall hearing Alone In The Dark or Namistai at any point in the last number of years, much less when they were new. What I'm sayin' here is CD1 is a solid enough mix, but nothing remarkable either. Functional progressive trance, which is perfectly fine for a Year 2000 set.

Check that: it's a remarkably bangin' progressive trance set, the sort of tempo typically reserved for CD2 of releases such as these. How can Mr. '00' build upon it for the next bit? By going total cheddar, it seems. Seriously, that first track, Free, is about as generic vocal trance could get back in the day. Total fluff piece, and such a weak way of opening the second disc. Who even made this- oh. Um...

Well, ol' John was getting his career back in order at this point, so I guess some compromises were required. And like it or not (I fucking hated it), epic-corn trance was popular at the turn of the century. It'd be a number of years before he'd team up with the likes of the Digital Blonde anyway, taking his sound closer to the psy vibe many of his current followers enjoy. In the meanwhile, we have to endure more anthem-schlock, culminating in one of those annoying-cloying Dutch tunes but five tracks in. God, that's stupid. Who even made this Electra- oh. Um...

Okay, I'm just goofing. And J00F does come correct with a little goa shortly afterward, almost as though he used the fluffy stuff early to lure the kids in before unleashing some Astral Projection on their asses (in two tracks, no less!). If you're a recent fan of Mr. '00', For Your Ears Only may not be your cup of chamomile, but it won't hurt your collection if you're gathering all he's released either.

The Fabric Project (on a budget)

Here’s the scoop. Shortly after posting those two Fabric reviews, I decided to go about gathering more. Not so much for the sake of reviewing them - though I definitely will - but to sate my own curiosity over how many of them have held up over the years. With many of them now available at affordable prices, it’s no thang on my part to start a respectable Fabric collection. So where do I start at? The best ones, of course. Nah, screw that.

While perusing online shops, I noticed quite a few were ridiculously cheap; like, one penny’s worth even. I was quite shocked by some of the names relegated to such depths, at which point a delightful idea sparked in me brainpan. Why not get these ones instead? Sure, they may not be any good, but at worst they’ll be adequate, right? Fabric wouldn’t release anything of wretched quality, right? Right!?

I still had to limit myself though, as many of the best deals come from UK shops. Trouble with ordering from the Isle o’ Brits are the ridiculous shipping costs; after all, it was such fees that made Fabric CDs stupid expensive on the shop shelves here in the first place. Even if I’m only paying a dollar (Canadian!) for one, there’s still nearly thirteen bucks worth of shipping cost. So, I limited myself to those editions of Fabric and FabricLive (because why not) that were only fifty cents. I also found an American shop that were selling a few Fabrics at a much more reasonable ‘shipping + handling’ rate, so picked up whatever they had at less than a fiver.

And which editions of this long-running, respect series were deemed barely worth the cost of the CD they were printed upon? Ah, you’ll just have to wait and see. Not immediately either, as they’ve only now started arriving in the mail (damn import logjams). Until they have all come in, I’ll carry on with my regular material, after which I’ll go over the Fabric and FabricLive discs in numerical order. All I’ll say at this point is I’m expecting eight of ‘em, and none are below their twentieth volumes.

Tony Anderson Sound Orchestra - Focus On Hollywood

LaserLight Digital: 1988

No, this isn’t an April Fool’s joke. This CD actually exists, and I have a physical copy of it in my collection. I sure as hell didn’t pay for it, as it was bundled in a box full of other music a friend was offloading. I guess I could have just said nyet, but curiosity got the better of me. I mean, just look at all those classic themes from television and film! Miami Vice! The Never Ending Story! The Magnificent Seven! Dallas! E.T.! Karate Kid, Pt. 3! Wait, what?

As I’m sure you can tell by the tone of this review, Focus On Hollywood does not have all those classic themes. They’re interpretations of them by one Tony Anderson Sound Orchestra; or rather, cheap ‘80s synth pop covers. If you’ve ever wanted to hear memorable John Williams and Enrico Morricone scores diluted into shit muzak quality, here’s the chance. It’s like the music you hear when being put on hold, or the very worst of early Yanni.

My God, even the compositions that should thrive within those dated ‘80s sonics sound like crap. Miami Vice has no spark, The Never Ending Story comes off like a horrible early disco cover, and Take My Breath Away - the love theme from Top Gun - is dead on arrival. Flashdance… What A Feeling? More like has no feeling, amirite?

I’ve no idea who this Tony Anderson Sound Orchestra is. Seeing as how Focus On Hollywood comes from LaserLight Digital, a cheapo label that’s churned out all sorts bargain bin material for the past two decades, my guess he was a studio guy commissioned to make these tunes on the cheap, and pushed out on the market for a quick turnaround. Just look at that cover! There’s no warning of these being shit-synth versions of familiar themes. All you know is you get Miami Vice, Flashdance, Top Gun, Dyansty, and more! Well shit, it’d be too damn hard to find all those on separate singles. What a deal to snag ‘em all on CD, and- oh, fuck, these aren’t the originals. I’ve been had!

The funny thing is I can’t hate the music entirely. These are good themes. I’ve never watched an episode of Dallas, but I can hum that tune off the top of my head no problem. Anything with Moroder as a credit will get lodged in your noggin’. I haven’t a clue where The Thornbirds is from (“An early ‘80s mini-series on ABC, ya’ lazy sap,” gruffs Google), but that faux-French theme is rather nice. Probably would sound great in its original score.

Maybe… maybe, there’d have been a point to Focus On Hollywood back in the day, when collecting soundtracks, scores, and themes was far more difficult than they are today. As it stands now though, this CD’s only good for a laugh, pointing and giggling at a time when such tinny production was considered cutting edge. Hell, I don’t think it even was back then.