Speedy J - Pull Over

Music Man Records: 1991/2021

This has to be the dumbest thing Speedy J has ever made. Yes, even dumber than its spiritual twin sister, Something For Your Mind - at least that one has a slightly redeemable vocal? And I'm not talking about my 'good' kind of dumb, which one could argue a lot of his post-Loudboxer techno is. Y'know, that blunt, no-holds-barred kind of pummelling rhythmic action that doesn't require much in the way of insightful dissection or thought to get into. No, this is just straight up dumb, spelled with a capital 'D', 'U', and 'M'. Just how dumb is this track? When Armin van Buuren was doing his little 'updating tunes that inspired me' series, of all the Speedy J tracks he could have chosen, he chose this one. That's how dumb this track is!

Don't worry about me calling Pull Over the dumbest thing to Speedy J's name, tho'. I'm sure Jochem would agree. Despite its massive success as a cross-over hit and an early Dutch rave 'classic', he never, ever wanted to go down this route again. Heck, I wonder what compelled him to do such a tune in the first place? Peer pressure from his fellow Dutchmen, to unleash the inherited Dutchiness lurking in his lineage?

It's certainly unlike anything he'd been releasing on Plus 8 Records to that point, which admittedly hadn't been much yet. Maybe that Minimal track, if it had only focused on the rhythm. But Pull Over doesn't. Almost immediately, that utterly inane looping 'hook' makes its presence felt, just mindlessly going on its single note, with its single pitch bend. And it never, ever stops, just sucking the whole way through. No matter how many fancy little drum fills Speedy J tries to get you hype around it, the hook carries on, sucking. You might say it helped inspire hard house, but that's like saying Family Guy helped inspire The Cleveland Show.

The First Remix is almost a tad less sucky, in that the beats have a bit more momentum going for them. The Speedy One also gets a little more playful with that hook, occasionally stretching the pitch bend out so the hook almost ends up sounding like a siren, and even adding a little reverb effect. Actually, no, that makes it even worse. I don't want to hear this stupid-ass hook any more than I need to, and no amount of knob twiddling will help it.

Second Remix, then, that's where it's at. Yeah, the noise that makes up Pull Over's hook is still present, but it's reduced to nothing more than a single stab no more prominent than an off-beat bassline. This version is all about d'em beats, man, and here's the Speedy J that would go on to such bangin' classics like Kreck. Well, in a primordial form at least.

The Bandcamp re-issue also includes an Original Cassette Tape version, and it's... just Pull Over again, but slower. Hard... Pass... Over...

The Micronauts - Bleep To Bleep

Science: 2000

This was one of those CDs that seemed sat in every store. For the life of me, I can't understand why. Or rather, I get 'how' it ended up in music retailers and pawn shops, just not why The Micronauts got such a significant promotional push in the first place. Certainly nothing on this here debut mini-album would suggest a huge cross-over event in the making, this music brash and noisy, like some kind of put-on by misters Christophe Monier and George Issakidis (who left the duo shortly after Bleep To Bleep's release).

Digging around their Discoggian data, they had a respectable run of items leading up to this, both as The Micronauts and in other ventures. I distinctly recall hearing their acid stomper single The Jazz in a Chemical Brothers mix CD. Christophe had a tidy run with Pascal R as Impulsion, getting in on that stompin' acid and hard house that was quite popular with French producers in the back half the '90s. It also seems that Lord Discogs really loves tying these guys with that scene, throwing about recommendations for Daft Punk and Cassius. Hm, it's coming together, the Micronauts story: promising single, associated with the big movers and shakers of the era... How could the mighty Virgin not sign these guys, though I'm not sure if the label had the utmost confidence in them. Nay, better to shuffle them off to a sub-label, like that Science print that was a dumping ground for Photek and Source Direct records.

Even partial Virgin promotion was enough to get onto a tonne of store shelves though. So there it sat, a quirky little item on the slightly cheaper end of CDs, being a mini-album and all. A few curious glances are thrown its way, wondering what that might be, what with no names or titles on the cover art. Some might recognize the name on the spine from singles like The Jag or Get Funky Get Down, but none of that is on here. A few, daring souls decide to give this a demo spin anyways, their reward an assault of hard house beats, garish acid, and a cacophony of electro noise. Good gracious, whatever is this racket?

Baby Wants To Bleep, in all its permutations on this CD, almost feels like a joke. Like, The Micronauts wanted to make the most obnoxious sounds they could within acid house's parameters, extending it into a sort of jam session in the process. It's rather fascinating in of itself, and could even be pointed at as a precursor to the Ed Banger aesthetic that would come to dominate much of French techno half a decade later. Trying to come into this blind, however, would almost certainly turn folks off. Not to mention one of the longest tracks, Bleeper_0+2, is just a noise experiment no one with any aspiration of commercial intent would dare put on an album. Time to hunker the project down then, let the rest of clubland catch up.

Various - Trade: Past Present Future

Beechwood Music: 2000

More than just another UK superclub, Trade’s legacy will forever be as important as Warehouse, Paradise Garage, and other early gay clubs championing that house sound. While there was no shortage of such venues at the turn of the ‘90s, they were still subject to standard clubbing curfews, leaving patrons with little more to do than wander streets and parks as they kept the party vibes going the morning after. Thanks to some wheelin’ and dealin’ by founder Laurence Malice, however, an afterhours slot at Turnmills was secured, one of the first ever in the UK. With an ad campaign specifically offering a safer alternative for post-clubbing all-night benders, Trade quickly flourished, becoming one of the UK’s dance music institutions, and launching the careers of many notable DJs (Tony de Vit, Tall Paul, Fergie).

And like any successful clubnight with a brand reaching global status, Trade got in on that DJ mix CD market too. Its first series of double-discers came out in the mid-‘90s on EMI offshoot Feverpitch, successfully promoting a hard house stylee the club was growing famous for. When the label folded after a mere two years, Trade eventually found a new home on Beechwood Music, kicking off with Past Present Future, two CDs supplying all the sounds you might hear at an all-nighter in Turnmills.

By this point in Trade’s lifespan, the clubnight had grown large enough for a second room playing funkier house music, from which production duo The Sharp Boys were instrumental in running. CD1 mostly focuses on their sound, and they definitely run the gamut. Groovy garage opens things up, loopy disco escalates the tempo (yep, Loleatta Holloway still going strong), and you can’t have such a set without a soul-sista’ monolog (Antoine Clamaran’s Get Up). The Boys take a turn for the tribal (X-Press 2), offer some bouncy house (DJ Antoine’s Do It has a donk on it), hit you with a little tech-house action (Smoking Schoolboy’s Tell Me (Detention Mix)), finally unleashing an unabashed anthem in Bryon Stingily’s Stand Up Right. Oh, and they finish off with an Armin & Tiësto collab’ of Eternity. Because clearly a club catering to hard house heads crave that Dutch cheese, absolutely.

With so much genre hopping, CD1’s an erratic set at best, and hardly indicative of the pummeling sound Trade’s all-nighters were built around. Step up to CD2 then, where ‘future’ representative Gonzalo Santiago hits you with a full mix of NRG! The beats come hard, some tracks have hoovers, others have acid, and build-ups are blessedly brief. I don’t have much else to say about it, my knowledge of NRG severely lacking. It’s fun for the time I play it, but I don’t want to play it much after. Not even that Baby Doc rub of Praga Khan’s Injected With A Poison.

A bonus third CD is a ten-minute snapshot of Tony de Vit rinsing out on New Year’s Eve, 1996. A touching tribute to one of Trade’s true legends, taken away far too soon.

Various - Slinky Presents: Superclub DJ's - John Kelly

Slinky Music: 2001

Just so we’re clear, this isn’t DJ John Kelley, the Moontribe member rinsing out at West American desert raves. No no, this is DJ John Kelly. It’s all in the pronunciation, see, that slight inflection that differentiates UK dialects and Californian slang. Go on, say it aloud. What, you still can't tell the difference? Whatever, it took nearly two bloody years to finally made that callback gag, and ain't no way I'm letting it go to waste with this one opportunity. This is what's called humor, people!

Also humorous is the notion of the Slinky brand, truly a testament to the bloated scene that was British superclubs at the turn of the century. It's understandable that institutions like Gatecrasher, Renaissance, and Cream would have enough market clout to promote their own DJ sponsored CDs, t-shirts, fanzines, and other paraphernalia. Slinky though? Was there really so much money floating about that any club night pulling a few thousand punters could have global reach? Even way off on these shores of the far West, you'd find Slinky CDs clogging up shelf space, always sitting there, stupid expensive from import fees, trying to pass itself as on par with the big boys of the era. Little on those mixes looked appealing though, whatever hits of the day the same ol' anthems rinsed out on other prestigious mixes. God, even calling Gatecrasher 'prestigious' feels dirty, but compared to Slinky, it seems apt.

Fortunately (?), after the megaclub scene crashed, so did Slinky as a super promotion, their label folding and several of their releases easily found in clear-out bins for a soft fiver. Even then their CDs didn't look worth the investment, but seeing a double-disc from DJ John Kelley was enough enticement for a purchase. Wait, when did he ever play superclubs in the UK? Oh, wait, this is DJ John Kelly. Who’s he now?

Just kidding. Mr. Kelly paid his dues on the British DJ circuit throughout the '90s, often rubbing shoulders with all the big names and famous jocks while flooding the market with mixtapes. He definitely deserved a spot at a superclub, though it seems after Slinky's brand collapsed, so did ol' John's output, Lord Discogs finding little trace of his material these past ten years. So he either retired, or has gone deep underground. I'd do a search but chances are I'd come across his American doppelganger instead.

Oh, this 2CD mix? Eh, there's not much worth getting detailed about. CD1 is hard dance, at that weird crossroad point where NRG had faded but hardstyle hadn't quite taken off yet, and very little flow between tracks throughout the bosh. Utterly skippable, though hearing Picotto's Komodo again was nice. CD2 goes proggier, and builds well for a good while before getting stupid with novelty tracks, though hearing Minimalistix' Struggle For Pleasure again was nice. Mr. Kelly sounds more comfortable mixing these tracks, but most of his chosen tunes are forgettable. Yes, even that useless Tiësto remix of Innocente.

Various - Planet Dance

Tommy Boy Silver Label: 2000

Planet Dance is another entry in the ongoing history of “Good Music, Bad Covers”. To begin with, the title is utterly generic, and though hyperbolic sub-titles are almost mandatory, even a rote rookie wouldn’t be fooled into thinking Planet Dance is selling what it claims. I’ll give some credit for choosing a minimalist design in artwork, but I’m not sure what that thing is supposed to be. An all-white ‘P’ overlapping a block-spectrum of a ‘D’? And the logo in the bottom corner, is that really Tommy Boy’s, the label famously known as an early leader in hip-hop and urban soul? When did they get on the dance music money train?

Truth be told, they’ve flirted in and out of dance culture for just as long, including a few hip-house tracks when it had short-lived chart strength. After Daft Punk re-invigorated house music and the clubs that supported it in the back-half of the ‘90s, it wasn’t such a bad idea to throw one’s hat into the lucrative pile. Tommy Boy already had plenty of ties and connections to New York City clubs, and a little extra market penetration outside their core demographic wouldn’t hurt. Big gay diva house it is, then.

Thus Tommy Boy established a sub-label specifically catering to the needs of house heads, Tommy Boy Silver. Planet Dance is a summation of tracks that had been released through the label’s first couple years of existence, and remarkably ace throughout for a bandwagon jump. While I wouldn’t call all these ‘club hits’ like the CD claims, there are quite a few memorable anthems on here, and plenty of noteworthy names of the time, including Cevin Fisher leading the charge. Never a bad thing hearing Burning Up or The Freaks Come Out again; a few Junior Vasquez remixes also goes down easy. Squeezed into this mix are a few surprises too.

For instance, Demi Moore is on here! Yes, that Moore, sampled from a world-beat track where she read poetry, now set to a big house cut with orchestral swells and builds (A Gift Of Love’s Do You Love Me, for the record). Or how about a pre-Get Physical M.A.N.D.Y. showing up as Oakland Stroke for a funky outing in Planet Whip, inspired by the way-oldie Let It Whip from Dazz Band? Yeah, didn’t see that one coming, did you?

Nor a pile of hard house either, I wager. Not content in cornering the disco house scene, Tommy Boy Silver got in on the ravier side of things, including Mario Più’s hit Communication (aka: that phone song), and the one-off DJ Irene project P.I.M.P. Project (Kick Your Legs Higher is proto-‘donk’!). Bridging the gap between hard house and progressive house (kinda’) is Hypertrophy, with four tracks of theirs in this mix – geez, they only released five singles. It’s probably a bit much for those who never cared for ‘bells-n-plucks’ riffs, but when surrounded with strong funky vibes, they make for nice sweetener. Definitely a surprising keeper, Planet Dance is.

Lab 4 - None Of Us Are Saints (Original TC Review)

Resist Music: 2006

(2014 Update:
I'll keep this short, because Lord knows this old review's too long as it is - the upcoming Northern Exposure reviews will have fewer words combined than what I spent detailing this album with.

So, how awesome is it that Lab 4 went out as they did, eh? Legacy intact, no cringe-worthy bandwagon jumps, forever maintained as one of the UK's most fondly remembered live hard-dance acts. Both members still play out at occasional solo gigs, but the Lab 4 mystique remains as solid as ever. That's how you do it in this business, friends, though a reunion tour in a couple more years wouldn't hurt no one, nosiree I says.)


IN BRIEF: A dark light in the realms of hard dance.

It’s been a long time since I willingly dove into any modern hard dance music. As I’m sure many previous reviews [at TranceCritic] can attest to, the reason for this is simple: a lot of it isn’t any good. Many producers have such a hard-on over pushing the ‘loud’ factor to extremes with all this new technology, they seem to have forgotten how to actually write anything other than a massive breakdown/build with tuneless screeching synths bookended by throbbing beats. Granted, hardcore never was about subtlety, but at least the hooks were memorable back in the day. When not pillaging old tunes for inspiration, everything sounds like toss-offs for DJs lately.

But perhaps my impressions of this music are due to what’s been handed to me to review, an admittedly lackluster bunch of DJ mixes and singles. Perhaps my recent distaste for it would be cured, or at least lessened, were I to hear a better offering. Perhaps what I need is a familiar trusted name to ease me back into the fold. Enter Lab 4.

Adam Newman and Les Elston harken back to an era when live PAs ruled the roost and the DJ merely warmed them up. And despite the glorification of the guy who just plays records since, Lab 4 have held their own as a live act. Their continued domination of the UK’s hard dance circuits lies in their uncompromising blend of aggressive synths and devastating beats. Yet, unlike many hard dance acts, Lab 4 have also managed to keep from falling into self-parody; their tracks will often push you to the threshold but rarely to idiotic extremes, no easy feat in a scene where the phrase ‘less is more’ is blasphemy.

So what kind of hard dance does a pair of gearheads produce? Why, anything that comes to mind obviously. And instead of playing favorites to a particular scene, Lab 4 instead aim to give you a taste of everything. The result is two discs worth of music, which begs a question: is there enough diversity in the hard dance realm to maintain one’s interest for nearly one-hundred sixty minutes? Well, your typical hardstyle fanboy will yell, “Fuck yeah ”, but their idea of diverse tracks ends with two different notes in an eight-bar synth riff. What about those with a more discerning taste?

Just enough. Each disc wisely mixes the tracks between techno stompers and hardcore bosh-fests instead of separating the two, which keeps things from sounding too repetitive (and believe me, it can get very repetitive fast). Also, Lab 4 doesn’t settle for just a couple genres of hard dance; every track has a unique twist that helps it stand out from the rest. But before we talk about those, let’s check out the opener of each disc, both of which are breakbeat!

Well, Restless World is only half breakbeat before settling into standard hard house. This one’s not all that good, mainly for the fact two singing divas clash horribly like a bad mash-up. The Syndicate though, now that’s some tasty action-movie big beat there.

Alright then. The techno. Unfortunately, this is all over the map. Lab 4 decide the best route for this material is in mechanical sounds, which has always been techno’s playground. However, their choice of sounds isn’t terribly interesting. At best, they’ll have some quirkiness to them that’ll intrigue (The Ritual and Use The Nitro are good examples) but at worst, they come across like weak Plastikman impressions (the god awful Nightmare). Mainly though, when the rhythms are showing some cleverness aside from straight-forward plodding (Use The Nitro in particular actually comes across rather funky given the surroundings), these techno cuts are decent enough.

Some of them also make use of chunky acid assaults. Now, normally I’m all for acid tweakege, but Lab 4 don’t quite go for the jugular as we’ve known they have in the past. Tracks like Daisy Cutter and Blackstar aren’t nearly as exciting as they could be, but that could also be due to rote rhythms in those tracks (although Blackstar does have a decent, albeit unassuming, bassline). And what exactly were they shooting for in Efini? What a mess that one turned out.

Ultimately though, we’re here to hear some big hooks and pounding beats. On this front, our intrepid duo doesn’t disappoint. Some may be quick to lump it into the hardstyle category, but there is a very important distinction here that makes the beats oh so much better: whereas hardstyle will compress the effects on their kicks so much that it punches you in the gut and creates zero resonance, Lab 4 let that resonance carry to huge levels. When they unleash their thunderous kicks, Lab 4 can make even the smallest stereo sound as big as any stadium; loud and enveloping. As for your hooks, they certainly are big and noisy for all to enjoy, but there are a few stumbles at points as well.

To get it out of the way, here’s my one gripe: some of these breakdowns go on for too bloody long. Mind, I’m not talking about Scot Project levels of idiocy, but whenever Lab 4 dawdle in a breakdown to let synths play with big pauses, it kills the momentum of the track. Neu Messiah is a particular annoying example of this, mainly because the payoff just doesn’t live up to all that downtime. In other tracks like 4 Those About 2 and Pump It, it’s just enough, but nothing to get terribly excited about, especially compared to what else is on here.

Ah, yes. With all the rudimentary material out of the way, we finally, we get to the goods... almost (Hah! How’s this for Scot Project levels of teasing, eh?). First off, I must mention the Guilty Pleasures of these hard tracks. Hellboy: once again proving apocalyptic choirs and hardcore beats go wonderfully together. The NRG: unabashedly reach-for-the-lasers trancecore; normally I hate this stuff but as a one-off here, sure what the hell. The Uprising: rabble-rousing hooligan fun. Alright, now I will get to the goods.

Let’s face it. When Lab 4 step up to the plate for hard dance of this caliber, you’re guaranteed a home-run; a tomahawk jam; a spin-o-rama deke backhander into the top corner of the net gloveside. Their choice of hooks and synths are frighteningly aggressive, which goes incredibly well with their chaotic arrangements. You feel you’re on a roller-coaster to Hell, with the wheels just barely clinging to the tracks as you freewheel into the pit. Gangstah, Invaderz, and the new mixes of Groove Overdrive and Requiem all deliver on these fronts. Oh, and yes, their cover (remix?) of the Nine Inch Nails track Perfect Drug.

This track shows just how good these guys are at what they do. On paper, Perfect Drug is filled with ingredients that have made me despise hardstyle as of late: typical hardstyle beats (it still carries resonance, but it certainly is far more compressed than most of the other tracks); that stupid synth that sounds like screeching tires; a hook that isn’t their own. However, once all the establishing elements sort themselves out and things get down to business, this track absolutely destroys my cynicism towards this stuff. After all, if you’re going to go hard, why not unleash everything you got, mother-fucking breakbeats and all.

Of the two remixes of Perfect Drug included here, Nightbreed’s is a functional jungle go in the Dieselboy vein. DJ Starscream’s remix is delightfully demented though. Big throbbing beats and glitchy tuneless effects make up the bulk, occasionally teasing you with the chorus until he finally gives you what you’re craving (both at the same time) at the very end. Add this one to the Guilty Pleasure list.

I’m sure all the hardstyle fanboys out there are thinking they’ve managed to ‘win one’ for their side after all the nice things I’ve had to say about None Of Us Are Saints, but I’d hold off on that parade just yet. Lab 4 is undoubtedly one of the premier acts in the hard dance scene... or at least they used to be. It would seem the duo has decided to take an indefinite hiatus from touring and producing, and they do deserve a well-earned break after all this time. Unfortunately, it does create an uncertain void out there, one of which may be difficult to fill. Are there any acts out there willing to step up their game and meet the challenge? Maybe, maybe not. If not though, their absence will be felt.

Although this release may not be consistent all the way through (very few double albums are, to be honest), when they are on their game Lab 4 show why they will be missed. Too few hard dance acts manage to balance reckless assaults with enduring hooks anymore, and that scene has suffered as a result. Sure, the new kiddies still get their kicks with the new stuff, but Newman and Elston give us ‘older’ folks (we’re talkin’ late 20s/early 30's, heh) something to satisfy our craniums while boshing away.

Written by Sykonee for TranceCritic.com, 2006. © All rights reserved.