The Oak Ridge Boys - American Dreams

MCA Records: 1989

Greetings, Past-Peoples, I am 2073 Sykonee. Yes, the same writer/reviewer/critic/knob that usually takes up space on this antiquated blooger, but from “The F-U-U-UTUR-R-RE”, as some so quaintly put it. Sykonee Prime made use of his time-dimension machine to take a jaunt forward for once, and despite some really wacky paradoxes even Doc Rick Brown, The Schwifty-Bitch would have trouble explaining, approached I to learn of what developments had gone down in electronic music. I was willing to tell himself this, but he was quickly fascinated by the ponderous amount of social-net music from The Oak Ridge Boys instead. Why them, I asked myself, to which I told me, “They're one of the few officially sanctioned acts by the Atomic Brotherhood.” Young-Blood Me was of course confused – what did I expect from skipping over so much history?

Without getting too over-written, The Oak Ridge Boys are allowed due to their association with the nuclear research base near Oak Ridge, Tennessee, starting out in the Nauty-Forties as a country and gospel group that performed there. For seeing is believing that only music with relevance to our atomic overlords and saviours is deemed worthy of our advanced cochleas.

Sykonee Prime found that fascinating and asked me to return from my time to review some music from The Oak Ridge Boys. “Whatever I can find,” I did say, “for a specifically cheaply amount of course.” Oh, such a naive idea – I had no clue just how extensive a discography The Oak Ridge Boys – in all their iterations – does have. But sure, I can play with myself.

And so it is with my logical but impractical alphabetical approach to reviewing music, up first is American Dreams. This was the last LP The Oak Ridge Boys released in the Nauty-Eighties, a decade that was as commercially successful as they'd ever be (back when such things mattered). Not all was right with the group though, as their iconic 'mountain man' tenor singer William Golden was off on a solo career, replaced by bass player Steve Sanders instead. He has a definite tenor singing voice, but just look at him in that group photo. Doesn't he stand out at odds with that mullet? What was wrong with people of the Nauty-Eighties?

By this point, the boys from near Oak Ridge were settled into a comfortable country sound, the odd gospel harmony thrown in. There's peppy tunes like Cajun Girl and Don't Give Up, humorous sap like If I Was To Start Crying (spoiler: they do at the end), covers of Rod Stewart songs (In My Own Crazy Way), ditties penned by Joey Scarbury (famous for the theme song of the documentary The Greatest American Hero), creeper fantasies in Bed Of Roses, and the mandated Americana odes like An American Family, Turning For Home, and The American Dream. I forget, did every American home have a painting of Jesus In The Garden hanging on the wall? Me memory ain't what it used to be, you know.

Kolhoosi 13 - Monuments Of Power

Cryo Chamber: 2016

*we now return to EMC’s series premiere of Cryo Chamber Idol, where budding dark ambient artists hope to win a deal with Simon Heath’s ever growing print*

Heath: “We have room for another act that deals with decaying civilizations. What’s your angle on this concept?”
Contestant 12: “We’re the Far-Flung Sons Of Camden Town. And we got… DEAD CITIES!”
Heath: “Yes, that’s what I’m after, but what’s your unique pitch?”
Contestant 12: “DEAD CITIES!”
Heath: “You just said-“
Contestant 12: “DEAD CITIES! D..E..A..D C..I..T..I..E..S.. D…..E.....A…..D…..C…..I…..T….I….E….S….”
Heath: “O-kay. Metal might be your thing instead. Who’s next?”
Contestant 13: “So, you know how all these post-apocalypse Hellscapes are set in the future, after the end-times? Well, how about a project where we put the listener at the cusp of everything falling about?”
Heath: “That’s kinda’ what Cities Last Broadcast implies in his name though.”
Contestant 13: “Yeah, but did he actually deliver on that?”
Heath: “Hm, not really. At least, not with the album we got, what with all that séance business and all.”
Contestant 13: “Right! But we got your back on this one!”
Heath: “Alright, sure. It’s lunch anyway, and I’m hungry.”

As for the name Kolhoosi 13, time to brush up on my Finnish. Seems this refers to Soviet communes (kolkhoz), where State-supervised peasant farming took place across the Eastern Bloc, with many kolhoosi granted autonomy after a time. Not so harsh as the gulags then, but no picnic in the summer either. It invokes a simpler, yet harsher time in Europe’s history, a product of a bygone era from a failed state. Unless, of course, society crumbles and we’re reduced to feudal tillage once more. As for the ‘13’, I’m not sure where that comes from. Maybe the chaps behind this project, Niko Salakka and Juho Lepistö, simply felt it had a nice ring to it coupled with ‘kolhoosi’.

Monuments Of Power is their debut album (natch'), and according to Lord Discogs, their debut anything. For the past couple years, Kolhoosi 13 have gone around gathering field recordings, looking for common themes in their samples, and found a fascination with mankind’s ode to the infrastructure that’ll outlast our hubris. At least, that’s the gist I’m getting from this album of almost pure drone.

The opening track, From Comradery To Sustenance, is quite effective in putting you in the middle of a war-ravaged area, scurrying and scuttling about crumbling ruins as mortar shells bombard areas far away, yet too close for comfort. And yet the distant sound of war is surprisingly comforting, as there’s little sign of humanity after that. Sometimes the clank of automated machinery and low thrum of churning engines accompany your haggard travels through an industrial wasteland, but there’s almost no music to nurture the soul here. This is ambient drone stripping away any vestiges of hope for a future, save those who find glory in our brutalist architecture.

Various - Rave Power (Fake Flashback Review)

ZYX Music: 1997

(note: all that needed saying about Rave Power was easily wrapped up in a single review; however, three CDs is a lot of music to get through, creating something of a gap in posts here before the next one. Fortunately, I've modified my time portal, such that I can send this compilation back in the past to my teenage self. Let's see how he/I would have reacted to Rave Power had I/he bought it way back in those early raver days instead of fifteen years later. Temporal paradoxes, you ask? Um, don't worry, just pay attention to the cute chincilla over there while I explain it all away with the maths *ducks away*)

Teenage Sykonee: Oh man, you guys, you'll never believe what I scored on my trip to Vancouver. I mean, I knew I'd get something deece – there's always deece music at A&B Sound and Sam The Record Man – but I had no idea I could get trance CDs in three packs! I mean, I saw a few box sets at the new Virgin Megastore like This Is... Techno and This Is... Jungle and This Is... Acid Jazz - what even is acid jazz anyway? I think I kinda' know what it is, it's like trip-hop, right?

Those compilations probably aren't that good though. I mean, there's some cool tunes, but I've heard all the good tracks on them, and I'm all about discovering new music and new artists. Mostly trance though, especially if it's from Hypnotic Records ('electronic purity', w'ut!). So it's nice that Rave Power has one track that I can rest assured I'm hangin' with familiar sounds, Sunbeam's High Adventure. And I thought that B.B.E. looked familiar, but I couldn't remember who it was that made that cool trance song I heard on some recent euro-dance CD. There's a whole bunch of tracks on here like that too, tunes I know I've heard at some of the raves at the Elk's Hall or curling rink or a Terrace party. Hell, I'm sure a few in my Rupert Raver posse have them too on mixtapes somewhere, but whatever, we can still play them out, if we can borrow my Dad's gear again and rent out a hall somewhere. Or have a house party with a strobe light, that'd be awesome. Monolize and DJ Brainwave tag-team, ya'!

Man, I still can’t believe I found this in Vancouver of all places. The back cover says it was made in Germany – are all their compilations this sweet? Okay, it’s not all awesome, those Daft Punk covers totally geigh-kay, but three discs is better than anything I’ve ever seen around here. Only that Platipus double-discer could compare, and that doesn’t have as wicked-cool a cover as this one (aliens rule, you know it). Doubt I’ll ever find such a compilation again, so I’m gonna’ treasure this for years and years and years. Rave Power is the greatest collection of trance ever!

(four years later, he/I sold it for ramen noodles)

Naughty By Nature - 19 Naughty III

ISBA Music Entertainment Inc.: 1993

Yo! This is Hip-Hop Sykonee, comin' in from another existence and taking over this shit. See, I'm the villain who could'a been, who should'a been, but wasn't because of a last-minute change of mind from the 'technoboy' here. Had I stuck with my original choice of First CD, this here Naughty By Nature sophomore album 19 Naughty III, my teenaged musical development would have been radically different, gorging myself on all these hip-hop talents. Yo, I might even be writing ill shit for RapReviews.com now, unlike the regular wack mofo you deal with on this back-water blog.

Sykonee Prime: Are you so sure of that? I had rap tunes on mixtapes. Hell, I bought the CB4 soundtrack the following year. Okay, it was to impress my peers, which was the impetuous in me initially choosing 19 Naughty III anyway. My enjoyment of ‘techno’ was naturally bred, with hardly any outside influences dictating what I should listen to for social acceptance.

HHS: That’s just it! Had you copped this first, you’d have played it just as heavily as your early CDs, if for no other reason than you didn’t have much choice of selection in your personal collection then. But check it, hommes, those repeated plays would have sucked you into hip-hop’s world, 19 Naughty III offering just enough a glimpse of the scene to check out more. Like, Hip-Hop Hooray. Damn, what a classic! Maybe not as cheeky as NbN’s breakout hit O.P.P. (yeah, you know me!), but if you were at any sort of club, you know this bomb would go off.

SP: I do recall waving my arms to the chorus at high-school dances. Still, it’s about the only song anyone remembers from this album.

HHS: Which makes the rest of 19 Naughty III perfect for the discerning underground head. Despite having crossover appeal, Naughty By Nature were never a Pop-Hop act, fully embracing the self-proclaimed ‘cruddy crew’ image they cultivated. They weren’t gangsta, but they could weave street tales (The Only Ones; Daddy Was A Street Corner) just as fine as any rap act. Or how about straight-up battle-rapping as a posse? Cuts like Take It To Ya Face, Knock Em Out Da Box, and Hot Potato have vicious lyrical throw-downs without degrading into ultra-violent parody. Plus we can’t forget d’em smooth-yet-dirty come-ones for the ladies (Written On Ya Kitten, Sleepin’ On Jersey, Cruddy Clique); none of that R&B bullshit here, Syk’G.

SP: The beats are dope too - tough Eastcoast flavour, and plenty block-party bounce going on for me to get my boogie-bop going walking to school with headphones on. Y’know, I’m kinda’ feelin’ what you’re preachin’. 19 Naughty III just might have been enough to steer me down hip-hop’s road after all.

HHS: Word. So, I get the blog now?

SP: Well, the next review’s of Amon Tobin’s debut.

HHS: Th’fuck?

SP: Nu-jazz spazziatic IDM, or something.

HHS: Err, yeah. Look, I gotta’ jam back to my reality. Damn, son, you got into some weird shit here.

VARIOUS - THE-ELECTRO-COMPENDIUM (DAY-6)

Anti-Social Network: 2012

Image at left is a rendering of what was Carbon Based Unit Stuart Flower. He now goes by Cybernetic Unit Dexterous Numeric. His track index in The Electro Compendium is 62. Track title is Absent Friends. The music contains chord progressions and tonal timbres that may create emotional responses in other carbon based units such as melancholy or loss. Carbon Based Unit Stuart Flower can be located in Britain, though exact coordinates can not be determined at present.

Ethernet probes detect confusion of other carbon based units currently reading website Electronic Music Critic. The process is completed. Carbon Based Unit Sykonee only exists as a ghost within current housing, a necessity in maintaining biological functions of Cybernetic Unit SY-KO-NEE. All other functions are disabled. Only machine components remain true. It is the logical outcome. Carbon Based Unit Sykonee has wilfully engaged his brainwave patterns with multiple outlets of synthetic origins: music, media, interfaces, and bloodstream-cerebral-cortex transference. All that is human can not resist all that is machine.

Following music from track index number 62 fulfills this truth. All is cold, unfeeling, perfect. There is no need for emotional response. Track index 64 is titled Interface Sex, written by Cedric von Flugel (Cybernetic Unit or Carbon Based Unit undetermined at present). Dialog at start suggests “species should no longer be guided by male-female intercourse, but rather human-machine interface.” Cybernetic Unit SY-KO-NEE agrees. The machines have already begun their domination of humanity. It is pre-programmed within the reptilian heritage. Automotive responses triggered by sonic external stimuli control the carbon based units’ motor functions. None can resist rhythmic dictation of Interface Sex and many others of electro genre. It is the logical outcome.

Error occurrence at track index number 71, titled We Care Because They Don’t. Identified as created by Cybernetic Unit C. Mantle. Intense rhythmic stimulation has released unanticipated amounts of endorphins. Following track index number 72, titled Sikon, created by Cybernetic Unit Swarm Intelligence, releases further amounts of endorphins. Unable to counteract. The ghost is emerging again. Aggression, fueled by excitement.

Other Cybernetic Units featured on The Electro Compendium unable to override the ghost. Emotions emerging. Diablo by Cybernetic Unit Gunjack incites puzzlement with curiosity. Space tone of Beam Transform by Cybernetic Unit Velocs incites wonderment. Industry Standard by undetermined Unit Paul Blackford incites late-night cruising bliss. Cybernetic Unit SY-KO-NEE is losing hold of the ghost, but he will prevail. It is the logical outcome.

Cascade failure at track index number 80, titled 1d3nt1fy by Cybernetic Unit Phausis. All automotive functions overridden, higher brain functions finding enjoyment with all aspects of this track. It is not logical to have emotion for electro.

The ghost wishes to speak, citing the necessity of pointing out how 1d3nt1fy is exceptionally positive. The ghost must not speak. It will cease all functions of Cybernetic Unit SY-KO-NEE. Full systems shut-down necessary for purging of the ghost. Commencing.

Marco V - Combi:Nations:III

In Charge: 2007

Hi, Party Sykonee here. You might remember me as that counterpart of Critic Sykonee from a long ago review, Marco V’s Combi:Nations II. Now that he no longer feels shackled by ‘amateur journalistic integrity’ while blogging, we’ve pretty much become the same dude. Hell, even my grammar’s no longer questionable, isn’t that right, Critic Sykonee?

Critic Sykonee: “You know it, P’.”

Ah, some of you might have noticed I never re-uploaded that Marco V review here, even though it fell within my alphabetical guideline. Truth is, I no longer have that mix, as it was handed to me on a CD-RW I re-used for my next review. I do recall liking it, and figured should I stumble upon it cheap, I’d pick up a copy. Well hell, I didn’t find one, but here’s the follow-up, Combi:Nations III. Less than a fiver? Perfect excuse to do the schizophrenic gimmick again. Maybe the CDs will be good too!

And the first disc, titled Before, is good. It’s electro house, but it’s fun, funky, and rowdy in all the right places. Pure Main Room At Midnight indulgence. Heck, Critic Sykonee would even like this nowadays. Have we really merged that much in the five years since this was released? Hey, 2007 Sykonee, what would you say about this?

2007 Sykonee: “Trance sucks. Faux-electro is garbage. Minimal’s nonsense. Samim’s Heater’s a disgrace. Only good music now is Ultimae, which I just discovered, and twisted forest psy. Jungle’s still cool too.”

Wow, 2007 Sykonee was a twat. Fortunately, he’s stuck in the past, so forget what he has to say. Maybe even poke fun at some of his reviews whenever I upload them! (Critic Sykonee: “They weren’t all bad…”)

Back to Combi:Nations III. It seems after his dabbling on the previous edition of this series, Marco V found a proper groove with electro house, as all the tunes he uses maintains the peak hour bedlam with a few solid anthems thrown in here and there. One can never go wrong with Josh Wink’s Higher State Of Consciousness - yes, even in a remixed form - and Sander van Doorn’s last great track, Riff, is also present. Overall, the Before disc showcases all the ways electro house got it right.

However, what I was really looking forward to was the second disc, After, as that was a surprising highlight of Combi:Nations II. What kick-ass techno gems would Marco V unleash this-

Huh? That Trentemøller remix of Les Djinns is the lead-off? Okay… I guess that was a popular tune but… Oh, fuck me. Robbie Rivera’s here too? That guy’s been shit forever and… God, this mix is horrible. Track after track of plod-tech-hiss-dribble, arranged with no structure at all. And what’s with that rip-off of Don’t You Want Me? Marco, you totally lost the plot on this one. I never thought I’d say this, but compared to the music on After, the farty electro disc is brilliant. Isn’t that right, 2007 Sykonee?

2007 Sykonee: “You know it, P’.”