Various - Euro Dance Pool, Volume 2

Sony Music Direct: 1995

One year. That's all it took for euro dance to plummet from its perch. I'm sure sales held just fine, but stagnation had set in. All the charming attributes of the genre eroded away, in its place a shallow shell of glories past. Okay, that's not quite accurate, and the only evidence I'm providing for the argument is this CD. But oh, when we're through...

First, some positives. The opening half of Euro Dance Pool, Volume 2 features a couple returning acts from the first one, namely DJ Company and The Free. Actually, scratch that as a positive – their tracks aren't nearly as good as the ones featured on the previous edition, incredibly generic compared to their original hits. That right there is the problem: all these euro groups became streamlined, homogenized. There’s no distinctiveness or personality among them anymore. On Volume One, you could definitely hear the difference between DJ Company and The Free - now they could be Taboo or Unique for all I can tell. Still, that Look Twice tune makes a good effort to stand out.

The production quality’s the main culprit amongst all these tunes though. The beats sound cheap and flat, many making use of an annoying *tckock-tckock* kick. The hooks are almost non-existent beyond bleating nonsense. And why's this stuff so bloody fast? Yeah, euro often had a quick pace, but this is almost at eurobeat speeds, or even... dear God, you're not taking notes from happy hardcore now, are you!? No, that's not it at all. The raps, they're totally different now. Ragga raps. Wait a damn minute; these are nothing but Maxx rip-offs! Fuck you, Maxx Berman.

And that’s not even the worst of it. Nearly half the tracks are covers of songs that have no business getting covered into dance music. The Gipsy Kings’ Bamboleo doesn't need one. Elvis doesn't need another one. Holy hell, The Sex Pistols unquestionably don't need it! Is this because N-Trance had that stupid hit with Stayin' Alive, so now every two-bit euro producer's trying to cash in?

Ironically, one of the best tunes on Volume 2 is a cover, Dance Floor Virus’ Message In A Bottle (they even released a whole album of Police covers). The tune itself is about as you’d expect of a euro update, but sweet Jesus does singer Filippo Neviani ever nail the vocals! I recall playing this to my old man, about as big a Police fan that I knew of at the time, and he was impressed by how Sting’s cadence was captured. Heck, even ol’ Gordon himself thought it was his own voice that had been sampled. It definitely was a huge selling point for this CD, one of the key tracks played out on advertisements.

But nay, the series died after this, and the regular Dance Pool one shortly afterwards here in Canada. Sony then turned to the poor man’s Chris Sheppard - MC Mario - for their commercial dance mixes here. B’ah...

Various - Euro Dance Pool, Volume 1

Sony Music Direct: 1995

Alright, enough of that noodly ambient-Age stuff. Let's get back to fun music again, specifically euro dance, circa. 1994. A major player at the time was Dance Pool, Sony's subdivision for all things club orientated. The label's reach was far indeed, often responsible for mainland Europe distribution of several key dance releases while cultivating a roster of their own, including Jam & Spoon, B.G. The Prince Of Rap, and Culture Beat.

Thus, when Sony tested the dance waters here in good ol' Canuckaland, many of their releases carried the Dance Pool stamp. May as well, since that upstart Quality and competitor BMG were cashing in on a genre of music that Sony was boss at in Europe. Get a little promotion on MuchMusic’s Electric Circus, and you’re set. The first few volumes had a mix of big euro hits, house smashes, and even hip-hop (Kriss Kross, really!?). Oh, and some oddities cropped up too, like Deep Forest's Sweet Lullaby and remixes of Céline Dion's Misled and The Philosopher Kings’ Charm. Da’ fuq’...?

Yeah, the Dance Pool series didn’t do nearly as well as Canada’s other successful ‘90s dance compilations thanks to such wonky tracklists, but a few memorable releases did find their way to store shelves. Like other euro compilations, Euro Dance Pool went out of its way in bringing over cuts lighting up clubs overseas, but were perhaps not as well known on American shores.

Though this CD was released in ’95, all the tracks were from the year prior, when, as far as I’m concerned, euro dance was at its best. The genre still had ties to the hip-house and Belgian beat it originally drew influence from (re: ripped off), so the bass often had solid shoulder-shufflin’ action while punchy riffs dominated - oh, and raps plus a bird belting out the chorus, but you already knew that. By ’94 though, the sounds of trance were creeping into the scene, which makes sense since a lot of old school trance producers would make a track or three for easy cash. As a result, spacey pad work, stuttering background synths, and galloping rhythms became de facto attributes for euro hit after euro hit. Me likes a lot, and Volume 1 has it in droves.

There’s big, obvious hits like B.G.’s Colour Of My Dreams (though given a very trancey rub), DJ Company’s Rhythm Of Love, and an ode to drunk-dialing (maybe), Lover On The Line by The Free - actually, if the video's anything to go by, it was a bad acid trip. Speaking of fun, daft euro videos, Pharao’s There Is A Star is a right hoot! Elsewhere, Jam & Spoon pop up with their cornball-rave pseudonym Tokyo Ghetto Pussy, the Abfarht team contributes with a Kim Sanders cut, and solid one-offs round out the rest (sans an annoying 2wo Third3 ‘pop’ cut). Overall, Euro Dance Pool’s a fun compilation, showcasing some of the best the genre had to offer.

And it dove right off a cliff after...

Robert Slap - The Eternal OM

Valley Of The Sun: 1986/1991/2010

Speaking of obscure tape-ambient from the ‘80s, here’s a doozy of such an example. Or maybe not. Originally released in 1986, Robert Slap’s The Eternal OM has also seen a couple CD releases over the years, most recently in 2010. For the cover image though, I’m going with the 1991 edition because… I dunno, looks more charming than a seabird flying off to the sun setting below an ocean horizon. Abstraction, man!

Back to Slap, he was a prolific producer on one of the earliest New Age ambient labels to ever emerge, Valley Of The Sun - they even beat out Hearts Of Space by a few years, though couldn’t quite gather a roster as significant as that label. Valley Of The Sun’s primary focus was on the meditative aspects of this sort of music, and as such released several tapes with ‘crystal’, ‘astral’ , and ‘light’ in their titles. And, as a lot of this music came out on tapes, it’s become incredibly hard to find it anymore, especially so with many long out of print. This particular release, however, endured, becoming something of a staple for spiritual meditative sessions, and all that rot.

So what's on The Eternal OM that's earned itself 'classic' status? Four things: a single droning pad, and, as far as I can determine, overdubs of about three different synthesized chants of “Om”. For an hour. Yes, that's it.

Look, this isn't actually an album of music. It's meant to be played in the background while deep in meditation or relaxing during massage therapy or engaged in hot tantra sex. Or, I dunno, whatever activity you might need noodly Oms for. The chants aren't designed to move you or haunt you or invoke an emotional response – they're functional tools. The Eternal OM is about as perfect an example of what ambient drone is designed to do.

It's pretty easy to snigger at the idea of an hour-long track of overdubbed Oms, but after dropping the cynicism and going with the chakra flow, I was surprised by how easy it was to get lulled into a zone. Part of it is the way Slap plays the chants, almost rhythmic in how they emerge and ebb - quite relaxing, if you don't pay much attention to it. Amusingly, Valley Of The Sun realized the prayer's effectiveness, printing a small 'warning' on the original cassette copies that one should not play The Eternal OM while operating a moving automobile. Say, how is it three in the morning already anyway?

Should you be so curious to seek out this release of Oms upon Oms, I need to point out that, technically, Robert Slap only has a producer's credit for it. According to the always awesome Discogs, there is no Artist associated with The Eternal OM. Makes sense, as since this really isn't a composition of music, there's no artistry involved. Or I dunno, maybe there is, in kind of a post-zen non-music sort of way. Abstraction, man!

Nimanty - Etanee

Venonza Records: 2008

*sigh* Here we go again.

I suppose this makes better sense than one-sided vinyls – talk about scamming record collectors with that option – but one-song releases are still annoying to deal with. It's not even like Nimanty couldn't have made this a multi-track EP, as he released other similar digi-singles at the time. Was it so important having individual images tagged to these MP3s? It just don't make none of the sense in this day in age.

If I'm bitching so much, why did I even pick this up then? Research, primarily. As one of those links to the right suggests, I've been gathering all sorts of music for a guide, and sometimes good examples of certain genres come in these single-song releases. Normally it's some re-issue of old, obscure, tape-only ambient from the '80s, but occasionally something like this crops up too. I prefer avoiding them though, as it wonks up my personal library. Still, this Etanee was too good to pass up. Heck, I even paid for the bloody thing, and I fucking hate the very concept of paying for MP3s. But... I didn’t buy a digi-file that's uninsurable; no no, it's, um, donating to Discogs, for their incredible service. Yeah, that's it! And if the artist gets something beneficial in return, all the more better for it.

So who is Nimanty, and what’s so special about this one particular tune of his? Roelf Staal’s the man behind the project, composing space ambient much in the vein of the label Hearts Of Space, a juggernaut operating since the ‘80s in providing music to watch the stars hover by. You know, the sort of calm, soothing music they’ll play at the planetarium as you bear witness to the cosmos in all its splendour. The universe is grand and majestic, not cold and desolate as those dark ambient guys will have you believe. In that sense, space ambient has a tendency to skew towards the New Age side of things, and though some will claim the difference is negligible, believe me it exists.

Etanee in particular is a good example of where that divide occurs. It has your sweeping, spacious pad work as you’d expect, but there’s more musicality going on here, a greater emphasis on not only creating atmosphere, but painting a specific picture. Ambient, at least in its purest sense, is ambiguous in presentation, the listener often allowed to discover their own interpretation of the music playing (though the composer will still offer a guiding hand). Etanee takes the time to play a little piano, glitch up the pads, and even provide curious vocalizations. It’s like a Kitaro composition, quite pleasant really when it comes to New Age-ambient hybrids.

Overall, this is a nice little tune (only ten minutes long), but my God could it use musical context surrounding it. C’mon, Nimanty, how about a proper LP, eh?

Deep Forest - Essence Of The Forest

Sony Music: 2003

Several folks enjoyed Deep Forest's take on world beat when they first emerged, but as the duo edged further from Western beats and deeper into local traditions, general interest in their output significantly dwindled. Add me to that group, and I was one of the few out there that actually enjoyed Boheme, scattershot faults and all. When Comparsa came out though, it came off a hodgepodge of any culture Mouquet and Sanchez were influenced by on their last tour, yet sounding like nothing at all. Granted, I didn't give it more than a cursory listen, as my ears had drifted away from the pop side of world beat, finding fresher sounds from Banco de Gaia and the like. I hadn't paid attention to a Deep Forest production since that lacklustre impression.

Then Essence Of The Forest came out. Hm, a greatest hits collection sounds interesting, and there's even updated remixes of all the selected tunes from Deep Forest. Wow, they'd released two albums since Comparsa? I guess it wouldn't hurt to pick this up. It'd be interesting to hear what they'd been up to, and maybe I'd been too hard on Comparsa. After all, this collection features the best cuts from their albums, right? Eh, I'm not sure.

Obviously Sweet Lullaby's the first track, and the lead single off Boheme - Marta's Song - goes second. After that though, the music culled from the first two albums turns weird. Deep Forest gets two more tracks updated, Desert Walk and Night Bird. The former, I can see, as it was a pleasant downtempo tune, but I found White Whisper, Savana Dance, and the titular cut more memorable than Night Bird. And to be blunt, most of the selections chosen from Boheme were tunes I've never liked. The dark, mysterious gypsy songs Gathering, Bohemian Ballet, and Cafe Europa, those were ace! Instead, we get Lament and Freedom Cry because... why? They're different from those other tunes? Meh, oh well, at least Twosome's on here.

What of the other tracks then? Honestly, given the selections from the first two, I've no idea whether they're the cream of the crop off their respective albums. What I can say is those not familiar with Music Detected will be stunned at the change of sound, with a major focus on R&B, funk, and soul. Getting blunty with it again, it's a total clash with the world beat throughout Essence Of The Forest, as all the tracks are mixed among each other. Some of it's good, for sure, and neat to hear Deep Forest stretching out, but incredibly out of place sitting beside African pygmies and Bulgarian gypsies (not to mention the mish-mash of cultures from Comparsa).

I wouldn’t bother with Essence Of The Forest if you’re looking for more Sweet Lullabys (although you do get two versions on here!). It’s a better pick-up if you’re only curious of their output since their debut without actually listening to the other albums.

BT - ESCM

Reprise Records: 1997

The inlay of BT’s sophomore album ESCM has the following printed out: “This recording is best suited to a nice pair of Sony MDR-7506 headphones.” Really? They’re good cans, but c’mon, those were the Dre Beats of the day - more of a fashion statement, especially within the DJ world. My Sennheiser HD650s are leaps and bounds better than the Sony model. Okay, that model didn’t hit the streets for half a decade after this CD came out, but what of the Sennheiser HD580s? They’d been around since ’93, and were considered the audiophile standard for headphones in the mid-hundreds price range. And BT’s saying even those won’t do with his album? Fuck you, Rick Berman.

Whoops, sorry. I’ve had Plinkett-isms stuck in my head lately. Still, a memorable bit from those Star Wars reviews at RedLetterMedia was producer Rick “Berman” going on about how CG technology allowed Lucas to create movies that are “so dense, [with] so much going on all the time.” Gee, sounds like someone else abusing technological capabilities, don’t it.

But hey, credit due where it’s deserved. Mr. Transeau created many sound effects himself, and as we’re dealing with ‘90s BT, the results aren’t as superfluous as his later efforts would end up. Case in point: Orbitus Teranium, a bare-bone bit of breakbeat supplemented with stutter and glitch effects at various points. In some ways, it’s nothing but a showcase of this technology, but as it capably serves the rhythmic momentum, it works. Most of the effects BT uses throughout ESCM are in this vein, and I’ve no problem with it, so long as the music it’s supporting can stand on its own. And that’s where ol’ Brian sometimes fumbles.

BT displays many influences and inspirations, but his songwriting can’t keep up. Opener Firewater is a perfect example, for the most part a solid “I can Enigma too” slice of world beat. Yet, at the back end of the track, BT suddenly chirps in with singing of his own, accompanied by folksy acoustic guitar strums and… wait, is this the same song? And… it’s already over. What was the point of that? Other instances crop up that are nothing but doodly bits of orchestral swells or piano tinkering because, hey, BT can play such music, but doesn’t know how to write a regular song around them. Then there’s Solar Plexus, the ‘rocktronica’ track even the most ardent BT fan scratches their head over. It’s nothing more than Mr. Transeau going “I can Trent Reznor too”, but what would Nine Inch Nails fans say about it? “Fuck you, Rick Transeau.”

Still, enjoyment outweighs the frustration. Flaming June’s a bona-fide classic, Jan Johnston’s contributions are pleasant enough, and early BT-Breaks are skill, three cuts of which we get. ESCM is considered a flawed gem, and perhaps BT realized this, using a mock-up of the 2001 Monolith for cover art. Or maybe he couldn’t clear the rights to the original as an image, resorting to a phonylith instead.

Petar Dundov - Escapements

Music Man Records: 2008

Why's this so difficult? Petar Dundov makes trance. Not epic, anthem, fluffy, unicorn, euro cheddar trance; just simple, old school trance. Why do so many folks deny it? Are they afraid his tunes will suddenly turn bad if they're tagged to a genre of music that's been horribly raped in the mud? What an idiotic assumption, but it sure seems like it the way Dundov's trance will get called anything but trance. Melodic techno, hypnotic minimal... just not trance. God, it's like saying Kerri Chandler doesn't make house music because David Guetta and Swedish House Mafia have sullied that genre’s legacy. There's room for both, commercial and classic, so why not take trance back to its roots?

Then again, maybe the world of electronic music wasn't ready for a return of classic trance in 2008. And it's not like Dundov intended to make a statement of some kind with this album. He cites the same influences that many original trance producers did – classical synth composers of the seventies – and by stripping his production of so much modern excess and fashionable fluff, the results are simple and hypnotic. Certainly it helps that many of the sounds he uses have a vintage tone to them, as though plucked from keyboards of yesteryear. It's techno without the maximal aggression or minimal wank, music that could easily rub shoulders with other tracks on an old Harthouse compilation; y'know, trance.

Okay, okay, Escapements isn't all trance; in fact only a few tracks could be labeled as such. For the most part, this is a techno album that often dips into space synth and the like. She In Purple is a dead ringer for ‘80s stylin’ cool electro-groove, while Anja’s Theme and Kanon harkens back to the minimalist experimentation many ‘70s keyboard wibblers indulged in. Meanwhile, influences from Detroit crop up on Rain, Oasis, and Waterfall, working a slow, grooving build to a futuristic motif. They are arranged much in the vein of classic Laurent Garnier, though rather subdued in comparison.

Distant Shores and Sparkling Stars though... they’re classic trance through and through. Cascading synth washes, hypnotic loops, subtle arps, stuttered hooks, and rhythms just groovy enough to hook you into a TAZ as it plays through. Mark Reeder would approve.

I guess the pertinent question is, if Escapements sounds like something that could have been produced in the early ‘90s, is there any reason to get this in the here and now? Well, if you fancy that vintage vibe, it’s a no-brainer. As Dundov’s production has a nice, crisp modern sheen to it, nothing sounds dated, and hypnotic, melodic techno (trance!) always had a futuristic vibe going for it. If you’re curious why old-old schoolers are always going on about how trance was so much better back in the day, don’t hesitate to scope Dundov out. Even if it’s unwittingly, he’s one of the few producers out there that can take the name back to credibility.

Madonna - Erotica

Sire: 1992

Madonna is Madonna Louise Veronica Ciccone, a very important person in the world of pop. She was among a handful of artists of the ‘80s instrumental in bringing dance music back to the mainstream, thanks in large part to several memorable and provocative videos MTV gleefully had in rotation. Of course, it was dressed up as synth-pop and such, but club culture knew it was just disco in new clothing. Ol’ Madge knew it too, as her career often flirts with the best of contemporary beats for mainstream consumption. At the turn of the ‘90s, however, many pop stars of the previous decade were floundering, unable to keep pace with what folks wanted. Even Madonna was coming off dated, but unlike her peers, she held a savvy for the music business few could compete with. Re-invention was called for, but into what? The answer was two-fold: erotic cinema and underground clubs.

S&M culture was, um, penetrating the mainstream consciousness, hit movies and music like Basic Instinct and Enigma’s Sadeness impossible to ignore. Ms. Ciccone took notice and re-imagined her sex appeal, going from pop-punk pixie with a dash of virgin-whore to full-on sex vamp dominatrix. The general audience wasn’t quite ready for that, outcries of her scandalous behavior turning folks away from her latest efforts (even more so). For Madonna, however, it was still a success, in that if her art couldn’t remain in the mainstream, at least her name did, which was more than could be said for her ‘80s peers.

Meanwhile, her musical career held strong with those that never turned their back on her. By diving deep into the realm of chugging house and New Jack Swing, Madonna found a comfortable home with a new breed of club culture revolving around alternate lifestyles and fetish wear. Shep Pettiborne, a DJ and remixer of several similar dance-pop acts, was tasked with giving Ms. Ciccone the beats needed for maximum eroticism while still keeping one foot close to the edge of the mainstream should anyone curious about descending into those S&M basements choose to do so. Erotica, Deeper And Deeper, Fever, Bye Bye Baby, and Thief Of Hearts are about as solid of tunes as you can expect with the players involved. This whole album is remarkably consistent, seldom straying from its sexy, provocative tone. You of course have to include a couple ballads, but even tracks like Rain, Bad Girl, and In This Life are fine offerings.

Erotica won’t receive plaudits from purists (does anything of hers?), but it’s hard to deny the album succeeds in providing strong clubs rhythms with smart, seductive vocals. If you need an example of how miserably this can fail, just look at any of Madonna’s recent output. It worked here though, likely because Ms. Ciccone didn’t have her eyes squarely set on mainstream acceptance. By willingly diving into the warm latex embrace of this underground world, she came out with one of the best albums of her career.

Various - Erol Alkan Presents: One Louder

Muzik Magazine: 2003

I'm surprised Erol Alkan's career never blew up beyond underground darling. Of course, his refusal to hop on the production wagon until recently probably hurt, but ol’ Erol’s brand of bangers and mash-ups was popular with both the discerning punter and slop-drunk clubber, sets finding that sweet spot of commercial familiarity and underground obscurity. Still, what started as an exercise in cleverness quickly descended into bad gimmickry, and as one of the driving forces of the mash-up scene, Mr. Alkan unfortunately got tied at the hip with it.

It was easy to fall sway to that scene though, as it presented something quite refreshing in that oh-so fun year of 2003. DJ mixes were, for the most part, tediously predictable, so it blindsided many when jocks started raiding glories of dancefloors past, rinsing them out almost seamlessly with music of the present. Okay, the '80s revival was in full swing at that point too, so finding the links wasn't difficult; however, to hear classics not as retro radio fodder, but as vital components of contemporary nights out was magnificent.

Getting back to Mr. Alkan, One Louder isn't his official first commercial DJ mix (that honor going to A Bugged Out Mix). Rather, it was a freebie given away with Muzik Magazine, who were all up on his jock back then. One Louder itself was a short-lived club night that Alkan attended, pushing this particular style of genre mash-up before it ever got popular. In lieu winning their Breakout Artist Award that year, Muzik finally convinced him to release a mix CD, which he decided to dedicate to that club night.

Free magazine CDs are often hit or miss, typically hitting the “eh, 'tis fine” mark. Not this time out. One Louder is exceptionally good, almost too good for a freebie. It has a solid start with the always welcome disco punk classic Make It Happen from Playgroup, but not three tracks in we're treated to Duran Duran's Girls On Film of all things. Duran Duran? In 2003!? You bet, care of the Night Version that made the tune club friendly back in the ‘80s, in no way sounding out of place on this mix. And the choice material keeps coming fast and furious.

Codec & Flexor show a little club swagger with Crazy Girls. Goldfrapp’s Train and Benassi’s Satisfaction get mashed together. Goldrun’s remix of Grand Popo Football Club’s Men Are Not Nice Guys will get your gurn on. A string of thrashy techno calls back those crazy times when guys like Vitalic were thrilling and new. And, if all that wasn’t enough bedlam, Alkan closes out with a freakbeat punk cover of Harder Better Faster Stronger, an utterly mental and ace way to end a set on.

Despite One Louder being an old free CD, it’s still worth dropping down some cash if you happen upon it in a used store. It’s about as much club-trash fun you can have in a mere hour.

Wu-Tang Clan - Enter The Wu-Tang (36 Chambers)

BMG Music Canada: 1993

I’ve made no secret of my love of the Shaolin crew. It was the Wu that opened my ears proper-like to the possibilities of hip-hop ingenuity, but even before then I had a level of respect for the odd tune I heard from the group. It took a while to catch on though, in no small part because my teenage years were spent on the West Coast. True, the Canadian West Coast, but G-Funk ruled my peers’ Discmans, thus I seldom gave anything East Coast notice. Oh, those wacky years when regional distances mattered.

So I entered the temple that RZA built and began digesting whatever Wu material I could. Problem was I came a tad late, thus my early Wu consumption was almost all post-Forever material. And while there were still a few solid releases under the Wu flag at the turn of the century, it paled compared to the pre-Forever era. It was a while before I bothered checking it out though, largely the fault of a CD called The RZA Hits, essentially a collection of the best cuts from those early albums. “Why should I get Enter The 36 Chambers,” I thought, “when half the album’s already on The RZA Hits?” Man, bring out the Australian boot, ‘cause I deserve an extra punishing kick for that one.

Fact is every cut off here could have ended up on The RZA Hits. That’s how bloody good this album is. Rowdy bangers (Bring Da Ruckus, Wu-Tang Clan Ain’t Nuthing Ta F’ Wit), posse anthems (Protect Ya Neck, Da Mystery Of Chessboxin’, Wu-Tang: 7th Chamber), introspective moments (C.R.E.A.M., Can It Be All So Simple Then) or individual showcases (Method Man, Clan In Da Front, Shame On A Nigga… kind of), this album’s got everything one can hope out of a hip-hop release. But hey, you should already know that. Even if you haven’t heard any of these cuts (!!), you’ve at least heard about its classic status within the hip-hop canon. Two decades on, it hasn’t lost its shine.

Or rather, none of the raw, unvarnished grit has worn away. As the Wu were still very much of the street at this point, there’s no fine studio polish or immaculate production here. The RZA made do with what he had and got ridiculous mileage out of the bare-bones drum kits and samplers. It of course helps to have eight outstanding MCs (Masta Killa’s only here for one verse) on hand spitting fire throughout. Enter The Wu-Tang was already an incredibly unique and distinctive sounding record in ’93, thus it’s more remarkable each MC is just as unique and distinctive as well. I’ll deal with them when I come to their solo albums though. In the meanwhile, you get on Enter The Wu-Tang, as it’s one of about ten rap albums you’re supposed to have even if you’re not much of a fan of hip-hop.

(As an aside, this is also my one-hundredth review since writing them again. Celebrating in style!)