Various - Trancespotting IV

Hypnotic: 2001

I’ve mentioned them before, confirmed their existence in passing, but never actually wanted to hear them. The notion of a ‘tribute’ album isn’t a terrible one, and some of Hypnotic’s earliest efforts in the realm were decent enough examples of the concept. Considering the legacy pioneering acts like Kraftwerk and Tangerine Dream created, or the influence of new wave bands like New Order and Depeche Mode had on future musicians, a respectful homage to them seems appropriate enough for a one or two-off.

Those initial ‘trance tribute to…’ discs must have done well for Cleopatra, for they took things further by having their roster of industrial acts make tribute albums for the heavy-weights of metal (Metallica, AC/DC, Slayer, Guns N’ Roses). Okay, fair enough, but isn’t that stretching the concept a tad thin? Honey, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet, for soon Cleopatra was issuing tribute CDs for influential goth and industrial acts (Skinny Puppy, Dead Can Dance, Front 242, The Cure), famed crossover musicians (Bowie, Prince, U2, Madonna, Blondie), punk bands (NOFX, Misfits, Nirvana), and complete outliers that have no reason to ever be involved in such an enterprise (Tori Amos, Brian Eno, Edgar Allan Poe, Bon Jovi, Weezer, Limp Bizkit, Marilyn Manson, Marilyn Monroe). As far as most were concerned, all these tribute CDs became a big ol’ joke of a franchise, yet another example of Cleopatra’s ongoing dodgy business of hitching themselves to brand name recognition with none of the expensive licensing fees that comes with it. And Trancespotting IV came out at the height of these shenanigans.

Of the eleven tracks on here (final track is a bizarre block-rockin’ beats megamix of Aqualite material), only four are original tunes, and two of those are by the same guy under a different alias. Hell, maybe even the third one is too, Lord Discogs drawing a complete blank on whoever “DJ 2iax” is beyond this release. But yeah, it’s clear Airborne and Dragonspirit are the same chap, one Martin Nielsen who you might remember under numerous other bog-standard goa trance pseudonyms from that Goa Box: Trance 4 Motion 3CD package I reviewed a few years back. Meanwhile, one of Cleopatra’s minor stars in Razed In Black brings us a futurepop remix for his minor hit Oh My Goth!. Fun tune, if you’re into that sound.

The rest of Trancespotting IV features covers and remixes of covers. Do you like R&B group The Miracles? Disco group The Trammps? Funk icons Prince or James Brown? New wave stars Depeche Mode and Dead Or Alive? The lead singer of Warrant, Jani Lane? Of course you do, and you probably even have their original songs too. Songs like Tears Of A Clown, You Spin Me ‘Round, I Would Die 4 U, and Disco Inferno. Do you also want them as rudimentary rubs of breaks or trance? Then hey, Trancespotting IV will be a hoot-diggity riot for you (though sadly, lacking in Quiet Riot). For the remaining ninety-seven percent of us, forget it.

Various - Trancespotting III

Hypnotic: 2000

A third Trancespotting! How was there enough interesting in this middling series to warrant a trilogy? And if it is so middling, why on Earth do I own this CD? Easy answer on the latter question: it came bundled in a Trancespotting box-set, titled Complete Trancespotting, released a couple years after it was clear Hypnotic had run the well dry on the concept (whatever the Trancespotting concept may be). “But wait,” proclaims thee, “for a box-set to truly be box-set worthy, there must be a minimum of four CDs in the package.” Right you be, o’ Pedantic One, which means there was a Trancespotting IV in this series. That I must review as well.

Look, the box-set was a pretty good deal, four CDs for the price of one, and I hazily knew the first volume was decent enough for a Hypnotic compilation. I figured there had to be at least another disc’s worth of good material between the remaining three to make it worth the asking price. Juno Reactor and System 7 on II, Synaesthesia on III, James Brown and Dead Or Alive on… oh. Oh dear. Trancespotting IV is one of those CDs, isn’t it.

That’s for a Newer Review from this one though. For now, we dive into Trancespotting III, a CD that already gives signs of what’s to come from this series. Yep, that’s Kelly Hansen among the featured artists, and if you don’t know who that is, you probably never bother with your classic rock station. Actually, I’m not sure if it’s the current Foreigner lead singer, but the song being sung (and remixed by Razed In Black into a plucky club anthem) is Dream Police by Cheap Trick. A couple tracks after, and we get a Mark Pistel rub of The Sweet’s Fox On The Run. Huh, that ain’t so bad, but I’ve faith any member of Meat Beat Manifesto providing the goods, even if his big-beaty remix makes zero sense on a compilation called Trancespotting. In fact, nearly a third of this CD’s taken up by big-beat action, including Filter Section’s Action-8 and Bill Leeb side-project Pro>Tech’s Recalcitrant. Surprisingly, Transmutator’s Equal Opportunity Slut doesn’t go the ‘aggrotech’ route!

But we’ve already come to expect these genre dalliances from this series, if not so overt about it. We still get some trance out of our Trancespotting deal, even if it’s an incredibly ragtag selection. We’re a long ways from Hypnotic’s glory days in the year 2000, though funny enough we do get a Talla 2XLC opener, even if it is a track from a few years past. Not so far back as Juno Reactor’s Labyrinth though, a track found on the Samurai EP, but initially lurking as a B-side to The Overlord’s 1994 single God’s Eye (as The 7th Stage (Labyrinth Mix)). The Synaesthesia cut sounds more like early Delerium mashed with Pro>Tech, a couple vintage-cut acid tunes round things out, and we end on breakcore action from Spaceship Eyes. ONE JOB, Hypnotic!

Various - Trancespotting II

Hypnotic: 1998

Hypnotic wasn’t a label known for follow-ups to their compilations, almost always moving onto another collection of tracks with a completely unrelated title. A couple mini-series did emerge in their early years, like Influence x.x and Ambient Auras, plus those Tribute To [‘70s or ‘80s pioneer] were gaining enough traction for additional volumes. They also launched a remix series called In To The Mix around the same time as Trancespotting, which featured some solid acts like Chemical Brothers, L.S.G., Prodigy, and Leftfield. By its fifth volume though, In To The Mix was peddling shit remixes of funk, disco, and R&B acts like James Brown, The Trammps, Ohio Players, and Sister Sledge. You do you, Hypnotic.

So a sequel to one of their numerous compilations wasn’t without precedent, and it was clear Hypnotic was aiming for a change of direction in the year 1997, when that ‘electronica’ buzz was looking mighty lucrative. Still, you go with Trancespotting in this? Did that brand recognition with the movie truly turn out so well? It was an alright CD, but beyond highlighting the label’s scattershot roster of trance-leaning acts, didn’t have much of a selling angle. Maybe riding the jock of a popular movie/soundtrack was all you needed.

Trancespotting II generally picks up where the first one left off, mixing in ample amounts of the goa and psy while breaking things up with tracks wholly unrelated to the genre of trance. Hey, if it worked on the first one…! (did it?) Once again we’re opened with a System 7 cut in Expansion (Conspiracy Mix), and one can never go wrong with a little Juno Reactor action, in this case the techno-heavy Robert Liener’s rub of Magnetic. Bypass Unit offer up Tunnel Floatation for this CD, though it’s a fairly rote slice of goa by their standards. Heck, the main man behind Bypass Unit, Rene Abildgaard Jensen, has a better cut of psy jib on here with his solo project Colorbox (track I.D.: Grey Spook). Another Bypass Unit alum in Allan Robert Hejl shows up in his Shiva Ram guise with the oddly boshy Spanish Girl. Astralasia throw in a bangin’ remix for industrialists Spahn Ranch – damn straight parent label Cleopatra would worm their acts into Hypnotic’s business whenever possible. And couple ultra-obscure one-and-done acid acts like Solar Plexus (3) and Crude Infinity round out the rest of the psy stuff, little of which highlights the genre at its best.

But who cares about that when the real reason to hear a Trancespotting CD is for the ridiculous out-of-genre contributions! And hoo, are there some doozies, Trancespotting II offering no less than two house tracks! Like, I’ve no doubt Hypnotic was all excited in securing a Giorgio Moroder remix, but his rub of famed UK pop act Heaven 17’s Designing Heaven is pure gay club action. There’s also more big-beat action from Transmutator, an inexplicable contribution of minimalist paranoia-techno from Scanner, and as for Voigt Kampff’s Falculator, WTF is this? Hard-house garage??

ACE TRACKS: July 2016

Everyone sick of TRANCE yet? Because I sure am… not? Whoa, how is this even possible? I’ve difficulty enduring a singular genre for even a week straight, much less any longer, yet here we are a complete July past, and I’ve nary felt a smidge of burnout on the genre. What gives? A significant factor is this how much of a nostalgic trip down my trancecracker years this has been, reliving those exploratory ‘90s when trance felt new, edgy, and mysterious. I can almost guarantee, were I to indulge modern trance for a similar length of time, I’d have gone squirrel-shit insane by now. One disc of Mike Shiver was plenty ‘nuff, thank you. Of course I’ve bias towards the years I was first having sex [citation needed].

Another factor was taking a break from it all, pacing the month out, filling the gaps with different music, and taking a mini-vacation to Seattle. Where I got to hear Nirvana all the time. And a bunch of Metallica on the car radio for one inexplicable Sunday, no matter which station I tuned into. Having Beastie Boys’ Sabotage stuck in my head for nearly a week didn’t hurt/help either (thanks, ST: Beyond!). Naturally, none of this shall appear on ACE TRACKS: July 2016 (The Total Trip Trance-Voyage Experience!).



Full track list here.

MISSING ALBUMS:
Various – Tranced Out And Dreaming
Various - Trance V.oice 2
Various - Trance 2001: A Trance Odyssey
Various - Trance Trippin’
Various - Trance To Planet X: Influence 3.3
Various - Trance Sessions
Various - Trance Psyberdelic
Various - Trance Mission: Leon Bolier & Mike Shiver
Various - Trance Europe 2.0
Various - Trance Divas 2
Various - Muzik Presents Trance Classics
Various - Trance Central – Return To The Classics Vol. 4: Jørn Stenzel
Chris Fortier - Trance America

Percentage Of Hip-Hop: 0%
Percentage Of Rock: 0%
Most “WTF?” Track: Kraftwelt - Confusion (wait, what’s this non-trance track doing in this all-trance playlist!?)

Holy cow, look at all those missing CDs. Trance isn’t that obscure on Spotify, is it? Not entirely, as I found many tracks on other releases scattered about the app, but at least a quarter of the tracks are missing regardless. What’s strange is how some Hypnotic CDs are on Spotify, a few even re-released with different cover art (lenticular gimmicks aren’t so nifty as a .gif). There was no clear logic in how Cleopatra went about selecting which to upload though, but that’s kinda’ par for the course with that label. Hey, at least they’re still in operation, which is more than can be said for so many other defunct prints of trance’s past.

Various - Trancespotting

Hypnotic: 1997

This is about where I lost the plot with Hypnotic, though it was through no fault of the music within. Nay, the very idea of capitalizing on the hit ‘raver’ film Trainspotting (despite the movie having nothing to do with rave culture, beyond a kick-ass soundtrack), it rubbed me so wrong. Where had the nods to retro sci-fi gone? For sure CDs with names like Trance To Outer Limits, or Trance-2-Metropolis, or Trance Sexual were all kinds of chintzy, but Hypnotic owned it, wholly and completely embracing a future-pulp aesthetic that screamed vintage underground raves. It gave them an identity unlike few other electronic label of the American ‘90s, where most almost seemed embarrassed by the music’s lineage. All that promptly wiped away in a singular jump on a contemporary reference. I could see the end on nigh from there, my friends, the label that once guided me through my early trance explorations all too eager to fill its catalog with whatever trendy sub-genre happened by the Hypnotic office ears.

Hell, we even get a sampling of that right here in Trancespotting, with third track My Wonderful Friend from Trancemutator. No, wait, Hypnotic made another one of their infamous typos – this is Transmutator, a negligible difference sure, until you hear that the tune in question is about as big of a breakbeat as beats could big-up in the year 1997. This was also a side-project of one Romell Regulacion, more commonly known as way-‘90s industrial act Razed In Black. What any of this has to do with trance is anyone’s guess, and it doesn’t stop there. Kraftwelt’s retro-electro sound is here in Confusion, while Sunset Yellow gives us something far closer to the tech-house camps in Agent Yellow.

Alright, enough nitpicking. I said the music on Trancespotting was good in spite of the dodgy concept, and I stick by that. How can I not when the CD opens with the spritely goa trance System 7’s Hangar 84, the duo fresh off a new stateside distribution deal after their earlier “777” experiment caused too much confusion. Elsewhere, Leeb and Fulber show up under their Synaesthesia guise, giving us the closest thing to a trance track in Andromedia that they’d ever go. Astralasia’s The Seven Pointed Star and Bypass Unit’s Helium rep that old-school goa sound as fine as any act not named Juno Reactor, LCD’s Think Smart hits the acid side of psy hard, while Surface 10 gets chummy with ‘psy-tekk’ on Spotting Shmekno. And in case you inexplicably needed a piano trance fix, here’s another Omniglobe track in C’mon Yo, featuring ragga samples no less. Trancespotting, do you even know what kind of compilation you want to be anymore?

A showcase of material Hypnotic had licensing rights to, is what. And hey, this CD succeeds there, most of the acts on here having albums out on the label within the year. Still don’t know why it presented them as a lame style-bite of Trainspotting though. Hypnotic Sampler Pack wasn’t as marketable?

Various - Tranceport: Paul Oakenfold

Kinetic Records: 1998

This is such a redundant CD in my collection, the very epitome of having all the same tracks in a different order. And not a terribly good order at that, so many tunes better served on other mixes and compilations. I wouldn’t even have Tranceport, had it not came bundled with a former owner’s collection looking to offload their discs (one guess who’s!). And yes, I must qualify this review with a haughty proclamation of being ‘too good to buy Tranceport’, or something to that affect. I definitely knew of Oakenfold’s mix, hearing it circulated on dub-tapes during my Canadian Hinterlands exile. Between this and his Live At Oslo contribution to the Global Underground series, Oakenfoldmania was running wild among my circle of peers. And yeah, I fell sway too, but thanks to other mixes of his that stood out from the pack. Tranceport though? Sorry, but by the time I might have considered buying this CD, these anthems were well played out for yours truly.

Obviously, I was a minority in this, for Tranceport became infamous for not only giving Oakenfold a significant boost in the lucrative American market, but promoting the genre of trance as well. For sure it had its dedicated, underground following, especially among folks fancying the psy side of things, but the progressive sound tearing up the UK club scene? No more so than your regular rave, most media attention focused on other European exports like big beat, French house, and trip-hop. If you wanted trance CDs without paying ridiculous import prices, your options essentially boiled down to old-school German back-catalog and whatever goa compilations drifted this way.

Tranceport, on the other hand, was released domestically (thus cheaply!) by Kinetic Records, a sub-label of American institution Reprise Records (founded by Frank Sinatra; endlessly tagged on this blog via Neil Young). This isn’t much of a surprise, as Kinetic was basically set up as the sole Stateside distributor of Perfecto material, including Oakenfold’s releases. Once club music gained more traction in America, Kinetic would move on from all things Perfecto, but given just how popular ol’ Paul was growing at this time, an exclusive mix to capitalize on his fame made good business sense. Or, considering Tranceport would go on to be a running series for Kinetic, having the popular Oakenfold kick it off made good business sense. Hell, it wouldn’t surprise me if the latter was the case, considering how slapdash this CD comes off. “Yeah, mates,” ol’ Paul would say, “here’s some anthems for ya’ to get started. Is my contract with you now finished? Good, off to tour with U2 then!”

The CD itself? Yeah, Tranceport’s got some anthems. I’ve talked about most of them already though, and don’t feel like typing what you’ve already read in a different order. Of the tunes I haven’t discussed before, El Niño’s overlong breakdown’s annoying, Time reminds me of old-school trance, and Gamemaster is such a rip-off of Quench’s Dreams, I can’t even dignify a finish.

Various - Trancemission To Andromeda

Hypnotic: 1996

The byline for this CD is completely accurate and total bollocks. How can we know what the sound of the Future will be - educated guesses, perhaps. Ever since egg-headed Europeans started manipulating vacuum tubes and radio transistors into something resembling music, everyone figured we’d be down with that electronic sound in whatever Futurescape we lived in. Once synths and drum machines became readily available to the common man, the notion of our lives dominated by digital decibels only grew, such that you couldn’t imagine a Future without electronic music; to say nothing of what amazing sonic roads we’d explore! Yet, here we are in the Now, and popular tastes in electronic music have generally retreated to the Past rather than continue striving forward. Whatever tunes Trancemission To Andromeda proclaimed as our Future is most definitely not of our current Now, and I wonder whether it ever will be.

In a more literally sense, the byline is advertising this as a collection of NOW! Records records, which were in fact roughly three years old by the time Hypnotic put this out on CD shevles. That label also folded around the same time, leading me to suspect Cleopatra simply snatched up a clutch of cheap licensing for another quick turnaround on the compilation market. There is no Future with Trancemission To Andromeda then, only the sound of old NOW!

Compared to many other German prints, NOW! Records was practically buried among the heavy hitters of the day. Starting out in 1992, they mostly peddled in hardcore rave, acid techno, and piano trance. Lord Discogs shows me that acts like House Pimps, Source T-10, and Omniglobe were their biggest acts. Incidentally, Omniglobe is an earlier alias of Aqualite. No surprise, then, that the two Omniglobe tracks on Trancemission To Andromeda - Mental Fragment and Happy Pill Anthem - are the better cuts on this CD. Not great by any stretch, but as primitive acid trance goes, perfectly adequate.

Know who else got an early start on NOW! Records? German techno mainstay Roman Flügel; aka: one half of Alter Ego, though he and long-time producing partner Jörn Elling Wuttke were more famous for Acid Jesus this far back. They also show up here in Power Of Yoga as Warp 69, and holy cow, is this ever a cheese-ball rave tune. Faring better is Feel Alright as Pure Tribal, a proggy little acid groover that hints at a better Future for these guys.

Most of Trancemission To Andromeda provides decent enough trance tunes if you dig the Phase 1 Era of the genre: simple piano melodies, serviceable acid, floating pad work. Some of these, like Source T-10’s Emotion and especially Lo Budget’s I Wanna Be A Cloud will give you a good ol’ gurning grin even without drugs. Unfortunately, these haven’t aged terribly well compared to the genre’s classics, coming off dated even by the mid-‘90s. Maybe worth a listen to hear Alter Ego’s humble beginnings, but otherwise for genre completists only.

Various - Tranced Out And Dreaming

Planet Dog/Mammoth: 1997

Where could Planet Dog have gone had they survived through the new millennium? The tie-in for Club Dog and Megadog parties weren’t exactly gunning for dance music dominance, content in letting other labels claim the big acts and dominate the scene. Yet those half-dozen names they signed, they made an undeniable mark on the psychedelic side of ‘90s electronic jams, gaining plenty of critical plaudits in the process. Planet Dog came across as a label that nurtured the talent they gathered, even if most of them weren’t long for this world (come back to us, Children of The Bong!). Would another unique, unheralded name have graced our ears thanks to Planet Dog’s finger the scene’s pulse? Could they continue forging their own path when homogeny became the commercially viable option? Might they have compromised their identity to stay afloat, jumping on trends and bandwagons before collapsing regardless? Ugh, that’s bleak. Let’s try Alternate Earth #2,622,673 instead, where Planet Earth became literal Planet Dog. Snoop Dogg is Canine Overlord.

But wait, maybe we have a tantalizing little look-see into one of those more practical possibilities, this here CD called Tranced Out And Dreaming. First though, that cover art. I don’t know what the Doggie folk were thinking with it, looking all sorts of cartoony and crummy. If you didn’t know the pedigree behind the compilation, you’d swear this was some chintzy world beat or New Age bollocks. Hey, maybe that’s why the label folded the year after: bad marketing! No, no, it was the demise of parent label Ultimate, ‘tis all.

Anyhow, Tranced Out And Dreaming is Planet Dog’s stab at a trance CD, as was a popular trend in 1997-o-dickety. The label had ties with the genre, Eat Static already a mainstay on the psy trance circuit, but generally skewed towards the downbeat, world beat, trippy beat, and dub beat. Uptempo goa and progressive trance were not on their radar, and even with this compilation on the market, that argument still holds true. Only Tony Hunt, who has three tracks on this nine-tracker (Katouka, Spectral, and Ionosphere), offers the most traditional of trance tropes, what with high-octane beats, soaring synths, and ethnic chants. While these cuts instantly won me over back in my trancecracker youth, I find them rather obvious and rote these days, especially compared to the other tunes here.

The opening few tracks are decent enough stabs at trippy, acid techno, but the back-half of this CD offers some absolutely mint dub action. Blissy Psilodub from Transequence will give your bassbins a proper workout, while slow groover Drift (Fruit Mix) from O.V.N.I. will have you floating through the cosmos as expertly as any psy-dub offering of the era. Astronomix’ La Danseuse Obsédante is a perfect example of the ‘technorganic’ style Planet Dog made famous, while Feel’s Nyango gets back to some chugging progressive house action on that ethnic tip. Methinks a label forgot what a ‘trance’ compilation was supposed to sound like by the end. Or not. *wink*

Various - Trance 2001: A Trance Odyssey

Hypnotic: 1995

Possibly the best compilation Hypnotic put out in their early years, and I’m not just saying that because of the pretty nebula on the cover. Okay, that’s part of the reason too, but I do have stronger reasons for this assessment. For one thing, it’s a Music Research tie-in, so aces already. However, Trance 2001: A Trance Odyssey is a tad different from all the other Hypnotic CDs peddling singles from Talla 2XCL’s label that could. This one mostly eschews the obvious tracks and classic German trance anthems of the day, delivering a collection of b-sides from the heavy hitters of Suck Me Plasma, all in service of the spaced-out, ‘eye on the future’ theme presented in the title’s concept. Or, y’know, I’m reading too much into this, the linking theme just a coincidence, and Trance 2001 was Hypnotic simply shoveling more licensed product out into stores as quickly as they could. Either wouldn’t surprise me but I’d like to give the benefit of the doubt in this situation. Hypnotic’s early material did have a sense of someone behind the desk giving a care.

As usual, many familiar names show up for Trance 2001: A Trance Odyssey: Komakino, Sunbeam, Aqualite, D-Lay, Cenobyte, Urban Trance Plant. Even if you know these acts though, odds are these tunes aren’t as recognizable compared to their main singles (refer to previous Music Research reviews). For instance, Komakino isn’t here as Komakino, but as Final Fantasy, though admittedly their most popular track under the alias in Controlling Transmission. And what a hum-dinger she be, by g’ar: blistering acid, vintage German piano riffs, gated choir pads, and tasty tck-tck-tck hi-hats. Aqualite’s moody Wavemaker was another modestly successful track, though not nearly as much as Outback. Same can be said for D-Lay’s peppy bleepy Desire, Sunbeam’s space pulp-adventure tune Energy, Cenobyte’s brisk, minimalist acid builder Tales From The A-Side, and Retroflex’s ultra-chipper happy hardcore Feel The Vibes. Wait, what’s happy hardcore doing in a trance compilation? Accommodating itself rather well, if I’m honest. I can’t believe it either.

In fact, there are a few happy hardcore acts here peddling the serious side of their muses. Overdog’s Cloudy has a nearly three-minute long building intro, going from ambient to chugging hard dance while maintaining a flowing trance vibe throughout. J’N’M Trax’ Human Inspirations features a great minor-key melody for such a simple boshing track, and Urban Trance Plant’s Ready To Flow is… um, well, has a pretty dope climax.

Finally, for you obscuritists out there, one-off act Spice & Dune finish Trance 2001 with another mint bit of high-octane space acid on Time Traveler. Only… it’s called Snapshot here. Why? Turns out “Spice”, or Patrick Wintter, worked in tandem with several producers, including one Mario Hammer as Snapshot, which Hypnotic must have erroneously tagged here. Those names seem familiar? They should, both going on to larger success as Hiver & Hammer. Such humble beginnings here for Mr. Hiver, closing out one of Hypnotic’s best CDs.

Various - Trance V.oice 2

Beat Buzz Records: 2003

I wanted some trance damn it, but my God was the selection in this particular store ever dismal. I could find my Turbo CDs and maybe a nifty techno album or two, but where was the trance, man? Where was the trance? On compilations with a Balearic beach, or a sunrise, or a sunrise on a Balearic beach, promising the latest and bestest in Ibizan superclub anthems, all tracks that, if I hadn’t already gotten, sure didn’t want, even in a different order.

It was then I realized whatever I’d enjoyed of the genre was truly, definitely gone, with no hope of return or salvation. The only thing left was to accept it full-stop, taking it as good as the cheese could give it. I scanned the shelves for the most overblown, chintzy, gaudy, ridiculous, nonsensical piece of cover art I could find, and hoo boy did I find a doozy! Just… what the Hell is going on here? Happy hardcore would be embarrassed by how cartoony this looks, and don’t get me started on the abomination that’s a double-gendered, two-headed plesiosaur. Too cruel to exist, yet too bizarre to erase from my memory.

And the trance. Oh dear God, the trance. Already you’re thinking we’re in for some rough vocal tripe, but maybe Trance V.oice 2 would present itself like those Trance Divas discs, a mix of the poppy euro fluff with more ‘credible’ examples of the sub-genre. Aw HELL n’aw! If I wanted something like that, I’d have gone with any dozen of generic trance CDs. I wanted the worst of the worst with this sucker, and Trance V.oice 2 fucking delivers!

The first track is DJ Sammy’s Heaven; welp, no sense pussy-footing this excrement. The next two have M.I.K.E.’s stamp on them, a Push remix of Zippora’s See The Sun, plus the collaboration Please Save Me with Sunscreen. If you like the Push sound, you’ll probably enjoy these, but as we’re dealing with radio edits, both tracks are utterly useless as examples of well-crafted trance (no time for subtlety). Fourth track is a lame hard dance cover of Supertramp’s The Logical Song from Solid Solution. Dear lord, just end this already.

No dice, Trance V.oice 2 carrying on with awful supersaws, flaccid pop, and wretched radio edits. As always, the closer vocal trance gets to euro dance, as with Futurz’ Let Your Night Shine Through and Sylver’s The Smile Has Left Your Eyes, the better it gets, but we’re at a pathetically low baseline here, my friends. All hope is gone once Trance V.oice 2 basically gives up on being a trance compilation after dropping a cover of BKS’ I’m In Love With You near the end. And the next track, Velvet Girl’s Promise U Heaven, why that doesn’t even have vocals at all! Zero out of Ten Jan Johnston Heads.

Seriously though, it’s the only decent track on here; once again Lolo provides some class on an awful CD. Respect.